Invesco field was so amazing. I was probably more interested in the architect of the building then the game itself. Regardless, it was a ton of fun and it made me realize the six months I’ve done more than my ENTIRE time here in Denver.

Incredible.

So, just a heads up. I registered a new ip address. In case you can’t remember ozweegoville.com(which I know alot of you guys CAN’T!). I registered www.kcmerrill.com. Still points to the same place, but just a little diffrent.

In the next few weeks I will also be transitioning to a new website.

In fact, there are going to be a TON of cool changes going on.

Why you ask?

Open Source.

I’ve been researching and studying alot of open source projects latley and have found quite a few that I’m really intrested in, and that are sound products(better than what I could write without the bugs.)

Also, lately, I’ve come to a technological revolution. I say this because The past week I’ve found so MANY neat and exciting things!

For example.
WordPress. It’s written in PHP so I can add and hook my own modules in it, OR, I can view the tons and tons and tons of modules already there!

Twitter. Amazing. Micro-Blogging. And sometimes I find myself sending text messages out of pure bordem hoping somebody will listen. Now I don’t have to "call out" somebody directly. Oh, and it sure as heck beats drunk dialing

Flock. Because I’m a techno junkie, it’s my new webbrowser. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO many cool social features that I love. Like the media, blog posting made easy, all in one news feed center, cool layout, easy controls and a ton of features I’m still yet to discover.

So … with that, I bid you all adou. And hopefully I’ll make some cool progress on it all

-kc

This morning was a really humerous one for me. I woke up to a bunch of crickets in George’s plant. So.. of course he didn’t eat.

I went in to shake his tree to get the crickets out, and there was George. Sitting there like a little kid in a snowstorm. Mouth open, toungue outstretched waiting for an easy meal.

Cracked me up.

I decieded to let George eat up everything before I put too many more crickets in there. They are learning to climb the tree. So, I’ll stop the learning process.

It reminded me of the corporate "evil" banana.

1) Place five gorillas in a cage.
2) Suspend a banana in the cage above a ladder.
3) When any gorilla attempts to use the ladder, wet all five gorillas with a fire hose.
4) When gorillas no longer attempt to use the ladder, replace one gorilla.
5) Note that when the new gorilla attempts to use the ladder, the other gorillas will beat him up. The fire hose is no longer needed.
6) Repeat step 4 until all original gorillas have been replaced.
7) Note that at this point, no gorillas use the ladder and none of them knows why.

There are two possible morals to this story:

1) Many people will prevent you from getting a perfectly good banana even though nobody knows why.
2) Many people will prevent you from getting a perfectly good banana for a very good reason, although nobody knows what that reason is.

Strange how life works itself out.
Goodnight all.
-kc

I’m so thankful to feel the breeze on my face, to feel the cool air as it passes through my shirt, to feel the nats as they hit my face.

As I ride past an older gentleman in a wheelchair, I realize that I’m thankful for the sweat that passes my eyes. I’m thankful for the burning sensation in my legs, and the burning I feel with every breathe I take.

Far too many times I find myself taking things for granted, taking my opportunities for granted. Just taking life for granted.

Sad, that sometimes it takes hitting a brick wall to realize everything that one has. I still feel I’ve hit a wall, but I’m still picking up the pieces.

As I sit here before my laptop, in the pitch black recess of my apartment I see George, just basking in the glow of his heating pad, re-arranging the sand to get comfy.

I see George living in the moment. Now, only worried about how well he’ll sleep before his light turns off. Not worrying about his next meal, not worrying about how he’ll find more food.

Just living in the moment.

It’s so much easier said than done, and yet George is doing it. So many people are doing it.

And yet I can’t quite grasp that concept.

Why is that?

Like a true idiot I’ll blame society, I’ll blame a chemical inbalance in my brain that can be remedied with drugs and pretend it’s nothing I can control, that I was predisposed of this condition from birth. My upbringing.

I know that’s not the case. It’s an imperfection of mine. Something that needs to be worked on.

In due time I imagine.

Everything comes and goes with time. All ailments pass with time, all success and failures come and go with time.

Time is the very essence of life, and yet for some people it’s considered to be their demise.

In due time I imagine.

Until then, I’ll sit here and type some more, admiring George and his lack of respect for time.

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In case you didn’t know, I’m in love with a sociopath

Needless to say I have a hangover.

It’s funny how I don’t remember posting yesterday’s entry, and it made me sick that I focused souly on a stupid car. I could simply delete the post, but in true fashion to the reason why I write, I’ll keep it, and show my negative side to the public.

By negative I mean I’m a big baby right?

I digress.

Yesterday hit me pretty hard Not just because of a stupid car, but because of the bigger picture. Opportunities. I think I just get so bitter and so angry and so depressed at people’s opportunities that they get. I get so any and so depressed that when my opportunities come, and for the most part I blow them.

Anyways, whenever I get into these ruts I always listen to dennis leary.

<blockquote>
"These people with their personal baggage, their Gucci Therapy Luggage that they drag all over everyone else’s feet. (More whining) "My life didn’t turn out the way I thought it would." Hey. Join the club. I thought I was gonna be starting center fielder for the Boston Red Sox. Life sucks. Get a helmet.
Look, you are an alcoholic because you like to drink. You are a junkie because you like to shoot smack. That’s it. Case closed. Final score: Drugs 10 –Belushi 0.
"But I’m just not happy." Hey! (SLAP) HEY! (SLAP) HEY HEY HEY! (BANG SLAP BANG) Nobody is happy! I’m not happy. (Pointing into audience) He’s not happy. She’s not happy, she’s not happy, they’re not happy. This guy is miserable. This is probably the best he ever feels.
Fucked up or fucked over, sober or straight, happiness comes in small doses. The five-second orgasm, the last chocolate chip cookie. You come, you eat it, you sigh, you feel guilty, you fall asleep, you get up in the morning and you go to work. That’s it, folks. Case closed. Final score: Cookie 12 — You 0.
This country needs to sit down and shut up. It’s about time we realized that nobody is happy. Canada’s not happy, Russia’s not happy, China’s not happy. Maybe we’ve all taken the American dream a little bit too far. It was originally supposed to be simple. Freedom of speech and the pursuit of happiness. And happiness meant you built a little cabin, you got a horse, a piece of land and an outhouse in the backyard. That was it. Sure it sucked. But you had freedom of speech so you could complain about it all you wanted. Now we’ve gotten unrealistic. Now we’ve got a new agenda. Freedom of speech doesn’t carry any weight anymore."
</blockquote>

And yet, as I type that, it would seem that science or god in his/her infinate wisdom decieded to take another jab at me and cover it up with the horrid looking clouds.

For those that know me, I’m usually an upbeat kind of guy. I say what needs to be said, and from the outside looking in, it would seem that I have a great perfect life and I should have nothing to complain about. Ok, probably not perfect, but I lead a normal life.

So for those that think I lead the perfect life, or those that already know life isn’t fair, or just don’t want to here me vent, you might as well bid me adou, and read my next blog, for it, just maybe, will be a little more up beat and happy.

It was a long day to say the least.

It started out early this morning. I’ve been looking for a new car. Before I continue, it’s not IMPARATIVE that I get a new car, Betsie is doing just fine. It’s just she’s getting old, she doesn’t quite match my lifestyle in that I’d like to go into the mountains and would rather have 4 wheel drive. I’d like to avoid the winter mess by having 4 wheel drive ect …

So I today I test drove the Jeep Wrangler. It was my final test, I’ve driven the other two options. The FJ Cruiser, and the Nissan X-Terra. Personally, the Wrangler suits me the best. It’s got a great drive, beileve it or not, and it’s such an upgrade to what I currently have. Long story short, I want the Wrangler.

I went to negotiate numbers(I didn’t on the other models because I wasn’t serious) however I feel in love today and was genuinely intrested.

Furthermore, not only did I love the wrangler, it out performed(in my opinion) better than the other 2, and it was far cheaper to boot.

I talk numbers.

Numbers are far far far far far far far far far too high. Mind you, I only opted to put 1K down, and was hoping for 3K on my trade-in, but it didn’t work out that way.

Only 1K for Betsie. /ugh. Which left me with a 470 monthly payment on a 22K Car. I find that to be absurd. Of course, the pro-active one in me, will find a way to make this work, IE, save up more money for a down payment. I left, dissapointed and down, but not out … I can negotate down, ect … I can extend my loan out to get it to meet my needs. but I know my father would have a heart attack.

I really wanted it though.

So it got me thinking if I was in over my head. If I could get it down to 400 dollars a month, is that obtainable?

I did a ton of math, and found out that technically it’s obtainable. But it’s not recommended. The reason why is based on the 60/40 method. Any financial advisor would tell you that any bills you have each month should **NOT** go past 60% of your net income. Right now, and for the past year or so, I’ve been operating at a 61% so I’m already over, let alone with a car payment.

With a 400$ car payment, I’d be operating at 75% which would mean that out of my 2,900K net, each month with a car payment I’d have 725$ leftover each month for whatever. Of course, that sounds doable, but right now, I’m struggling with the whole "where did my money go?" syndrome.

/ugh.

Anyways, I’ve been bitter for a while. You see, after I got out of the car dealership I headed home. Full of questions(and doubt) about my current situation. I had to go to target to pick up some groceries and I noticed two things that really got my blood boiling.

First, I pulled up to a stoplight, only to see some 16 year old schmo driving a 55K Mercedes with temp tags. If that were my kid, I’m not sure I’d let him drive my new mercedes, so I figured it was his. Now how in the hell did he get a damn new mercedes? I think at that point I almost lost it. Not in an anger sense, but a "kicked while I was down" sense. It made me really bitter, that he was probably given a handout, or that his folks were doctors or something.

It made me reflect that, here I am leading a great life, just wanting more but I can’t quite get to that pinnacle and yet some kid probably 5 years younger than me doubled it.

I think got to thinking about how these people do it. Working at McDonalds with a few kids, with new cars. They are doing it, and yet, I can’t. Even my pizza delievery guy was driving a new WRX. I was so mad, and yet so jealous, becuase I know they have a story that would infuriate me. Much like my old roomate who was given a practically new 4Runner. A handout.

I was pretty upset. I think now, upon reflection, that I was caught up in the moment.

Regardless, as caught up in the moment that I was. I was upset. I was saddened. I was befuddled(sp?).

So I deciede that because my mind was racing so much, that I would grab a bite to eat at Choppers(the local sports bar and grill) and watch the Little League World Series. Lubbock Texas was in the finals for the USA championship. /ugh. I got there an hour too early. My pops told me 2:30, which I beileve was his time. So I was too early for the stupid game(which we lost by the way). Dammit.

I was still distraught(sp?) mind you, and as I go to unlock my car, I see my lanyard sticking out from my car door.

You have to be kidding me.

I locked my keys in my car. My only other spare, hell, I have no idea where it’s at since my move, so my only choice was to call a locksmith. The guy showed up and had a couple gadgets that made me scared to death. Within 3 minutes he was in my car without my alarm going off. /sigh. Scary. 55 bucks that cost me.

Lesson learned.

I hope.

I’m really beyond frustrated at this point. So bitter and angry and befuddled(sp?) at how people can buy new cars these days, that I deciede I need a bike ride.

I call my dad. he doesn’t answer because he’s at work. He’s too busy working his ass off trying to plan for retirement. Amazing. The guy works every damn day he can so he and my mom can have a good life after retirement, and yet to this day I have never heard him complain. About anything. I wish I could be like him more … in every way really.

I wanted a long bike ride. I needed a long bike ride really.

A long one.

A really long one.

I wanted to be so tired that I didn’t have a chance to stay up all night thinking about how ticked off I am at people and thier handouts.

40ish miles. I say ish because I forgot to reset my odometer until about 5 minutes in my ride. I rode and I rode. I rode so long that even my kidneys hurt. I rode so long that my arms are so stiff and sore right now, my calves are longing for bed. I rode so long, that when I finished my ride, my face was black, covered with the nats that had gotten in my way. 20mph average I held, roughly. 2 hours on the bike, and now my ass is sore as if I just got back from brokeback mountain( I know, a visual you didnt need or want.)

As I get off my bike, I realize that my head is still spinning. My mind is still so annoyed. So annoyed with people and their handouts. How easily life and money comes to some people. So annoyed that I couldn’t have been given a handout, and yet, so thankful that I haven’t been spoonfed like some.

It baffels me how some people are still in college. It baffels me how some people are able to travel the world after college. It baffels me how some people never had to pay a dime while going through school and it sure as shit baffels me how some people I know got BMW’s while going to school. I’m up to my ass in school loans, and yet they are getting new cars. /ugh. Sorry, rambling …

So I get off my bike, I wipe the nats from my face. I don’t even shower. I let the sweat drip from my face to show I mean buisness, a towel will do.

I head to target again to grab some diet coke so I can mix it with rum or vodka. I hope to drink away my sorrows and self-pitty. Mind you, target is a mile away, if that.

I get pulled over by the cops because my car matches the description of some mass murder for all I know.

I go to give him my ID. Wallet. Oh shit, where’s my wallet? In my pack, from my bike ride … great. I’m going to get a ticket for driving without a license. That will add to my insurance which will only make my matters worse.

Luckily the cops noticed my white knuckles as I gripped the steering wheel with all my might. Fighting back the urge to just drop to my knees and hoping he’d just haul me off to jail.

He chuckled and looked at me. I was clearly distraught.

"Long day".

"Very."

It’s the only thing I could think of besides.

"I’m sorry, I’m irrisponsible and deserve a ticket".

Shit, I deserve a ticket? Out of your mind dude …

He chuckled.

"Happens to the best of us" as he nodded. He of course did his record check and come to find out, I’m not a hardened criminal and let me go with a warning.

I got lucky. Very.

I immediatly went home, grabbed my wallet … grabbed my diet coke.

Here I am. Depressed. Saddened. Happy. All on one emotional rollercoaster smoking my fat stogey, on my 3rd rum and coat, wondering what tommorow will hold.

I’m feeling it too. I feel good. Life is good, if I could just get past my self-pitty and realize that everything is good. I don’t need any handouts. I sure as shit don’t want any handouts and I will never need any handouts.

I’ll think of something to get past this. This won’t get me down for long, and even though this day for me has been a tough one. A failure.

I won’t fail, nor will I strike out, like most beileve I’m pre-desposed of doing. Maybe it’s just me who thinks the world is out to get me.

Maybe. Regarldes, succeed I shall.

I always do … somehow.

Until tommorow.

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Intoxicated. I’ll be curious to see how many grammer errors I have, or how my shit doesn’t make sense to anybody but me of course…..

-kc

Pizza. Beer. Oreos. Down Periscope.

Not bad for the remainder of my night.

I just got back from a hypnosis class. At first I thought it was a little weird the last class I went to but seeing as this is my second one, it’s actually pretty neat.

I won’t go into details, but hypnosis is a way for a the subconcious to reprgram itself. Very cool stuff. Lots of unanswered questions that I get answered in my past two sessions, which by the way have been free. Usually it’s 20 bucks. I usually go with the bossman, in fact I have to go with the bossman. I’m not sure I’d go alone. The "metaphysical thingie ma bob" is one creepie place to go without somebody you know.

I’m glad I went.

I need more time to think though. Tons of things to think about though.

I need to organize my fiances to see if I can get a new jeep like I wanted. We’ll see. I’m so excited. The next few months are going to be a ton of fun.

Until then, I’ll leave you with one of my favorite clips, from one of my favorite flicks.

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HAHA, awesome.

Oh, and if your not on twitter. You need to be.

-kc

Nothing in particular happened today, but it seemed like everything took a backseat. Even if only for a moment.

I feel I need to get away. I was tuned into a spot in southern Colorado where there are sand dunes. I think an excursion is in order.

This weekend.

My getaway.

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Still can’t get enough of this band "Say Anything …". I hate the video, but here’s the song:
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Youtube. Gotta love it.

Today was a very productive/waste of a day. How can it be a waste and productive you ask? Easy. My goal this weekend was to unpack which I did. Well, sortof. If I had a lady over I’d go crazy to get it clean, but to heck with it, it’s just me and my underwear everywhere I can deal with that …

I would take pictures but I’m sure you don’t want to see my dirty underwear everywhere, and also my camera is dead. Ok, in all seriousness, my camera is dead and I haven’t had the motivation to dig the charger out. It’s coming.

Soon enough.

Anyways, onto my productive/waste of a day. I finished unpacking for the most part, and my apartment is clean actually.

It was a waste because I spent a good 4 hours scouring the town of Denver and surrounding areas for Down Periscope.

It’s no where to be found

/sigh.

Oh well…

As I read my daily blogs, I noticed that I don’t get very comments, which is fine. However it baffles me when I talk to people and I try telling them about my day or something and they are uninterested because they saw it here first.
It used to really irk me, but now it’s actually funny. Most people I talk to usually read this, if even from time to time, and get their full daily dosage of me. Which I’m sure is more than they probably care about.

Just food for thought …

-kc

I traveled to the other side of D-Town today to pick up him up. I didn’t realize I wouldn’t be getting him there, but I figured I’d check out the Denver Reptile scene.

Boy, is it a big scene.

Reptile stores everywhere here.

I went to one yesterday called "Scales N’ Tails" and they had everything from hermit crabs to alligators. I’m not even joking. Monitor Lizards. Who could even care for a stinkin monitor lizard? Oh god, anyways, they had everything. Scorpions, frogs, lizards, snakes … everything. It was creepy too, I bent over to take a peek at the baby geckos(and by babies I mean still in the eggs) and I leaned back, only to feel my butt against a tank that had the biggest snake I’ve ever seen, EVER in real life.

Crazy.

They had a ton of geckos, but unfortunately I didn’t buy one, they were way overpriced. Now before you go all crazy on me, I had every intention of paying 10=15 bucks more at a local pet store than say Petco/PetSmart. Just trying to help the little guys out, but the place I went to yesterday was absurd.

So I headed over to another place today. Very cool people there, and again, they had a ton of weird creepy crawlies. They had a great selection of pretty much everything, geckos included. There were 3 or 4 in a tank, and believe it or not this dude came up to see the glass, just to see what I was all about. The price was right and so I took him home.

Curious little bugger, and with following the footsteps of Bill, I named him George, a not so exotic name for an exotic pet.

He’s one cool dude. We already had dinner tonight, which I hope is a routine for us. Surprising on his first night too, I thought he’d wait a couple days to eat given his new environment but I was mistaken. I think he’s pretty happy actually.

I’m happy. Just having another breathing soul in my apartment makes it that less lonely, and that much more enticing to want to come home.

So here is to you George *raises my beer mug*, may you live a long healthy life, may we dine like kings for the rest of our days and may the Gods keep the wolves in the hills and the women in our beds!!

Cheers Mate!

It’s a band called Say Anything. I quoted them last night. Great band, great lyrics.

Awesome.

So It’s going for midnight, I figured I’d blog before my pizza gets done.

I know, Beautiful right? I had a stogy tonight. I haven’t had one in forever. It’s so good, and it’s so relaxing. I love it. Today has been one of those days. I stayed late at work because I was on the trail of a nasty bug in my code at work. I figured if I came home without resolving it, I’d be thinking about it all night and who wants to think about work at home?

The last few days I’ve been figuring out how to get internet in my apt, at least for a while while I mull my decesion of getting tv/internet in my apt, but until then …

I figured it out.

If I hit refresh on my network list a couple times, boost the power of my wi-fi radio I can find a few more unsecure networks in place. Now of course, they probably are unsecure becuase either
A.) Owner doesn’t know any better …
B.) They are watching my every move …

If option B, I’ll consider them part of my fanclub

So I’m getting excited for this weekend. To pick up my Gecko. I’m going to go to this place called reptile heaven to see if they have a diffrent variety from my local petco/petsmart. <a href=http://www.vmsherp.com/4SaleLeopards.htm target=_NEW>Diffrent variations</a>, in case anybody is intrested.

I’m excited because my house is so lonley. Not that I’m lonley(although that could be argued) but nights when I’m not hanging out with my friends, staying late at work or what not it’d be nice to have something to come home to. Me and bill used to eat together, and I know I’ve said that a billion and one times, but I miss that. We used to chow down together. It was pretty cool. I hope bill is doing okay wherever he is. I keep hoping he’s surrounded by the Iguana hunnies. If anybody deserved an awesome life, it would be him. He’d been through hell and back multiple times.

This weekend. We’ll see. I’m excited.

I need to clean my apartment. It’s getting dirty. I told myself when I moved in that my room was mine to do with, but the bathroom and living room/dining room was to be cared for in a civial manner. I think the only one earning their keep around here has been my roomba.

This weekend I’d imagine.

So, I can’t remember if I blogged about me biking all the time. Yesterday and Today both I rode the lightrail to work. It was like heaven. Just to sit back and relax and wait for the train to get there. Riding my bike is a ton of fun too, but it makes me appreciate my car/lightrail that much more.

Music. It’s been my life it seems. I’m always connected to my IPOD in someway. It’s been awesome.

I can’t really complain about anything. Everything has been going so well, and for every complaint and worry I’ve had, 10 more positive things have taken it’s place.

It’s great. A week or two ago, we were watching this silly game show with Drew Carey(I forget the name) but one of the questions was "What percentage of American People feel they are living the American Dream".

I thought for sure it would be 2%, but somehow it was rocketed up to 55+ percent. Incredible. I couldn’t beileve it. Every other person feels like he/she is living the American Dream?

Although it’s taken me a while, I’ve come to grips with the fact that life can’t get much better than it has for me, and if it could get better I can’t wait to see what that entails(sp?)

I’m living the American Dream.

Are You?

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PEACE I’M OUTTA HERE!