A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the cabbie, St. Peter invites him to pick up a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven. A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning the preacher’s entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, “Okay, we’ll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff.”The preacher is astonished and replies, “But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie.”St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: “This is heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed.”

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Tags: joke, funny, haha, cab driver, heaven

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned.  I have been with a loose girl”.
The priest asks,

“Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?”

“Yes, Father, it is.”

“And who was the girl you were with?”

“I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”

“Well, Johnny, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you
may as well tell me now.

Was it Tina Minetti?”

“I cannot say.”

“Was it Teresa Volpe?”

“I’ll never tell.”

“Was it Nina Capelli?”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”

“Was it Cathy Piriano?”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?”

“Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”

The priest sighs in frustration.
“You’re very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that.  But
you’ve sinned and have to atone.

You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.  Now you go and behave
yourself.”

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and
whispers,

“What’d you get?”…………………………………..

“4 months vacation and five good leads.”