Milestones.
Everybody has them. For some it’s specific dates, others it’s just big events that take place that let us know we are on track. For those with specific dates, I always chuckle because I’m reminded of Marisa Tomei’s character in the movie My Cousin Vinny’s, with her stomping her foot exclaiming that her biological clock is ticking. I know a few personally who are the latter, who realizes a milestone with big events. The birth of a child, marriage, a house etc…
Me? I suppose I’m weird in that my milestones are derived from my AHA! moments.
I was in the sixth grade and my parents just came back from a parent teacher conference and they told me that my teacher was impressed with how far I’d come along after saying in kindergarden(she switched grades) she would have held me back due to maturity issues. At the time everybody was a year ahead of me for schooling and she just didn’t think I’d make it. I thought, well that’s good, I’m an intelligent being capable of being a productive member of society one day.
Another AHA moment for me was the day I got my broviac taken out. I knew that my dance with “The Dragon” was coming to a close. It was a huge milestone for me as it paved the way for many of my other milestones later on down the road. Besides, it’s not everyday a ten year old slays a dragon.
Fast forward quite some time, and there is the moment that my father dropped me off for college. I got back to my apartment, looked around to see my new roommates. One of which was on the couch, watching Star Trek and eating Oreos. Mom would have killed me had she seen me eating Oreos without dinner. AHA! Independence!
Oddly enough, no light bulb or AHA! moment came when I purchased my condo for some reason. You’d think it would have, but it didn’t.
I did have an AHA! moment when I adopted Bella. We got home and we were sitting on the couch, and she nuzzled up to me like she typically does for the very first time. I realized that I’m responsible for this little beast. She’s in this life with me for the long haul, and she’s my responsibility. AHA! Responsibility, Adulthood, Commitment and all kinds of milestones rang off in my head.
Timeout, if only for a moment.
As a kid, me and pops would head down to a Chevrolet dealership to take a look at Corvettes. All my life I wanted a Vette. I couldn’t put my finger on it as to why. It wasn’t because it was fast, I’m too chicken to go too fast. It wasn’t because I thought it was too expensive that I”d never have one and it’d be a “dream” car. It wasn’t that it looked sexy(which it does). It was none of the above. I couldn’t put my finger on it.
About 6 months or so ago, I went into a weird phase in my life where I wasn’t sure what I wanted. Where I was headed and what would take place. Kind of like somebody put a blindfold on me, spun me around a couple million times and told me to find the donkey’s tail. Although this wasn’t a game … it was my life. I traded in my car, for a sports car and anybody that knows me knows that’s not an accurate portrayal of me. I remember sitting in the Chevy dealership, in a small office where I was about to sign the paperwork for my very own Corvette. Everything was worked out. The down payment, the monthly payment, everything. They even started to get it washed for me. The gentleman handed me the pen to sign the paperwork, and I gave the pen back to him. I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t do it. I walked out of that dealership, pretty disappointed. Had I bought it, sure, it would have been a child hood dream for me come true, but it wasn’t how I wanted it. Oddly enough, I didn’t feel I deserved it.
What I mean by that is, in that very moment when he handed me the pen, I realized I hadn’t “Made it” yet. I couldn’t look myself in the mirror and tell myself that I felt accomplished in life. That’s what I couldn’t put my finger on in regards to the Vette. It wasn’t that it was so fast, it wasn’t that it was so sexy or so unattainable. It was, to me, much more than that. It was symbolic of success in life. I know, materialistic perhaps, but again, perspective is everything.
Back to milestones.
I went looking for a new job this past month. I only meant to dip my toe in the water to get a feel, but opportunities ended up grabbing my big toe and pulling me in full force. By the time it was all said and done, I had 4 offers in less than two weeks. Of course, I was pleasantly surprised by this and long story short, I ended up declining all of them for one particular opportunity. I was going all in. The interview process was pretty rigorous, 8 hours at least of in house/phone interviews. Questions, questions and more questions.
So there I am, on my first day, and I had to stand up, explain what it is that I did in a previous life and previous careers. I’m surrounded by people who I always envisioned to be successful. Google, Nokia, Microsoft, Yahoo!, PhotoBucket, Roadrunner, Comcast execs and employees to name a few. All of which are my new peers. All of which had to go through the same gauntlet of questioning and interviewing that I did.
It was at that moment I realized I went from the kiddy table at Thanksgiving to the Adult table. AHA! Milestone of “Making it” can now be checked off.
That’s not to say that I’m going to go out and buy that Corvette. Now, after the way I feel right now, I could do so humbly with a sense of accomplishment.
In my typical kc fashion, On my first day, I looked around the room at all of the higher ups and started to game plan how I can get there. Move up even more in this world. I want more out of this life. I want to see how high and how far I can go. I want to see what’s possible.
They say that you can’t cross a sea by merely staring at it. So if you don’t hear from me in a while, it’s because I’m out swimming.
Peace, I’m outta here.
-kc
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