A few months ago I celebrated my 25th birthday and as such assumed that another year older meant another year wiser. Well, as it would turn out, I was wrong …. again. Somethings in life I’ll never understand, and there are somethings in life I think I’ve got squared away. Nuggets of information tucked nice and neatly in the dark recesses of my mind, only to be used on Trivia Thursday nights. Some are pretty common sense issues, others, others took me many moons to fine tune and adjust to get right. For the first 10,000 readers, I’ll provide this knowledge with you for 3 easy payments of 49.99$. Please read the fine print before submitting your payments.

• Clean the lint trap. - Something that should be taken very seriously. The lint trap in your local campus/laundry mat should be cleaned to provide the highest level of heat! This tip alone could save you the 3 easy payments of 49.99$ quarters at a time! While I’m on the topic of laundry, remove all tissue/kleenex from your pockets before washing any fleece garments. After hours of removing fuzz from your garments, you would have wished you listened to me.
  • Freebie – While we are on the topic of cleaning, NEVER, and I mean NEVER put regular soap in a dishwasher. If you do, prepare a video camera and a 1 minute spot on youtube.
• Spare no expense. – This could also be filed under, “Do it right the first time”, so on and so fourth. If your going to buy something, get the brand/make/model you want with the appropriate bells and whistles. It helps with buyers remorse. It also helps in that when you do go back to buy the object you want months later, your not out the cost of the first item.
  • Example: You want some music playing device. Instead of going after the coveted ipod(200$), you go after the cheap sony xxx(50$) with half the features. You decide to save 50$ and go cheap. 3 months later you end up what a POS it is, and get the good stuff. Well guess what? The ipod still costs 200$, and you just forked out 50$ extra. Buy the ipod the first time and you saved yourself 50$ in the long run….. interesting. 50$. Look at that, 1 of the 3 payments you just payed for. Pretty easy eh?
• Shit or get off the Pot – Pretty self explanatory.  Next time you have constipation, you’ll be there for hours, without dropping off even a single brown to the superbowl. This handy little tip will save you days off the pot, days that you’ll waste sitting on the John. Days I tell you days!
  • This is a 2 for 1 special(see I’m throwing in free stuff left and right here) – Shit or get off the Pot. Either do what it is you need to do, and do not hesitate, or re-evaluate the situation from afar and let somebody else beat you too it. It’s pretty simple for those that can’t read between the lines. Take a shit. Leap before you look. Obviously, YMMV, however it’s been my experience that the moment you hesitate on opportunities, is the moment you see somebody else basking in the glory.
• Don’t become a movie critic. – Benefit from my mistake. I watched far to many movies growing up(as my mother was a movie store manager) and I’ve since become a movie critic. Growing up in the 80′s and 90′s, the vast majority of movies just don’t stack up to the awesomeness that includes(but not limited to) Predator, Terminator, BraveHeart, ect …. It’s impossible for me not to cringe at movies these days, and if anything it’s an easy waste of 10 bucks.
• Gas over Charcoal Grill – Buying a grill is a great investment and will provide you countless tasty meals. However, when finding the right grill, make sure it’s gas. Gas is cheap, it’s quick to get going and quick to get hot. After a few meals cooked on it, it gets the same awesome flavoring that charcoal has, except now it’s super easy to get started.
• Enjoy the little things. - I’ve always had a way of enjoying the simple things in life. A nice cold diet coke for breakfast. Payday. A full tank of gas. As chris rock says, “life is short? Not’s it’s not, they are lying! it’s loooooong! it’s loooong long long long long! Especially when your miserable”. It’s the truth, life will give you plenty of things to be unhappy about, trust me, sooner or later, their will be bumps in the road. Why not enjoy hot socks out of the dryer every now and again?
• K.I.S.S, Keep it Simple Stupid – Probably one of the biggest things I’ve learned is to keep it simple, stupid. Instead of trying to bear hug your issues, or trying to tackle too many things at once. Simplify things. Take 1 big issue and chop it up into multiple smaller, easier to tackle problems. It’s ok to try and do things right(read:complicated) the first time you do something, but don’t beat your head over something for more than 10 minutes. Take a different approach, and for the love of sanity, Keep it simple stupid.
• Second level apartment. – When renting an apartment, take the second level. Yes, it’s a PITA moving in and out, with all the stairs, however there are 2 simple reasons for doing so. Your heating bill in the winter will be non-existent due to your neighbors, and it’ll keep away the critters(read:rats, snakes and burglers). Why? They’ll be to busy investigating your first floor neighbors.