Every now and then, life sits atop a snow filled mountain and chucks a pebble down it’s slope. Before long, that pebble turns into a ferocious snowball that no one or nothing can stop.
<– My week in a photo.
I’ve learned alot about life the last week. I’ve learned that the mind is just an autopilot for what the heart really wants. I’ve learned that the human mind and the human spirit when combined, are insurmountable in the face of adversity. I’ve learned there will always a be a bigger, a faster, a smarter, a wealthier fish in the sea. I’ve learned that pearl jam is an amazing band. I’ve learned that bad things happen to good people on a consistent basis, without regard to race, gender or age. I’ve learned that ’08 is going to have it’s way with me, with or without vasoline, with or without my permission. I’ve learned that communication is of up most important but it’s not enough. I’ve learned that its the knowledge of what to do with what’s been communicated to you, and understanding it 100% is what’s really important.
I’ve learned alot. I knew alot of this already but this last week has just re-iterated it.
Anyways….
It’s been a rollercoaster without a doubt.
Thursday was catching up with old friends. Friday was the autoshow. Saturday was the rapids opening day. Sunday I had a great date.
I’ve learned a lot over the past week, that’s for sure.
And stranger than your sympathy Take these things, so I don’t feel I’m killing myself from the inside out And now my head’s been filled with doubt We’re taught to lead the life you choose (all I wanted) You know your love’s run out on you (all I wanted) And you can’t see when all your dreams aren’t coming true
I got off the phone pretty late tonight, something in me just needed to get out. No real reason why, well .. that’s not the complete truth. There are a million and one reasons why I just wanted to get out of my apartment, but none that I’d admit to anybody. I needed to, I needed something. Especially after the last few weeks. My mind has been in a billion and one different places, and most of the time my mind won’t let me get a handle on any particular thought. I needed to get out of the house. Go for a drive. Something that I haven’t done in a while. Ease my mind, clear my head, and reward the little kid in me who’s been pulled emotionally and physically in just about every direction possible.
A few days ago I came across this great song by the Goo Goo Dolls called sympathy, and tonight it fit the bill perfectly. With it on repeat, I set out for a quick drive, and as I left, the security guard who was perched high in his seat gave me the thumbs up and pressed his little magic button that allowed his gates to swing open for me and Dolly to pass.
With my own acknowledgment to the security guard we left. It didn’t take long to find what I was looking for. Today was a gorgeous, sunny, vibrant day. Unfortunately(or fortunately for me today), last night wasn’t so picture perfect. It snowed and rained for a good hour or two, just enough to get everything soaking wet, and a little overflow to the cherry creek river in certain areas to overflow.
A good 6-12 inches of mud, water for a good 50 yards awaited me and Dolly. Run after run we went, sometimes slow, sometimes doing donuts, sometimes blasting the mud hole, whatever. It didn’t matter. For a half hour I was a kid in a candy store, my mind in one, and only one place.
In the moment.
This whole year has been filled with moments. Some great, some not so great. Some that I wish could be frozen for forever in time, and others I wished could have been fast forwarded. In the moment, something I’ve tried and tried to learn, to live for the here and now. This year I’ve done a pretty good job of it too. It just goes to show how much positive change can occur.
As I left the mud hole, and made my way back to my apartment complex, I didn’t have a billion thoughts in my head.
I entered my complex, the security guard still perched high on his seat, and as me and Dolly came into view, under his spotlight, he could see all the mud and water from front to back just soaking the asphalt below. We both laughed simultaneously. I could see his pearly whites and he gave two thumbs up as the door squeaked open …
I didn’t have a billion thoughts in my head, not even a hundred. Just one.
And that was that everything in my life right now, couldn’t have been scripted in any other way. None of it could have happened to anybody else, and that my life is uniquely mine, and yet somehow ripped straight out of a children’s book that hasn’t yet been written.
With all the pain and frustration I’ve endured within the year of ’08 …
In many times throughout my life I’ve been both the passenger and a driver. Sometimes in full control, sometimes no control, and on occasion life is kind enough to provide you with a student driver car. You know, the ones with the emergency brake on the passengers side. Of course, from time to time life will equip you with a car that’s equipped with a rocket engine, no brakes, and a parachute(read: little plastic bag trying to slow you down going 200mph, like the one you used to make when you were a kid) and an “Oh Shit” handle.
’08 has given me many instances where I just wanted to grab the “Oh Shit” handle, and in many instances I’ve wished the day to be done, or deploy my pathetic parachute, slam on the brakes.
No brakes. Story of my life …
Hehe.
Of course, not all of my oh shit instances have been bad at all, oddly enough. There have been some moments that have taken me back, and ultimately made me smile. Although ’08 has been pretty punishing to me, it’s been very rewarding and the latest development can add to the rewards …
So what now you ask?
George is actually a Georgina.
Enter exhibit A.
I’m sure this isn’t what you wanted to see, but Enter exhibit A. Leopard gecko genitalia. Hopefully you’ve eaten already, and if you haven’t I apologize up front if you lose your appetite, and if your eating, well lets all pray you have a strong stomach. In one of my many leopard gecko care manuals and books I have, I took this photo. It’s of your average male gecko. Holes near the base of the tail, I’m assuming to release their boys to the world, but it’s just a guess.
So what now you ask?
It’s a long story as to why I even looked, but when I picked up George originally, but I was told that he was a he, and that the shop owner was about 99% sure george was a george.
He’s been acting sweet lately. Not sure why …. and among a few other reasons I decided to double check. Make sure.
Much to my surprise ….
George is actually a Georgina.
I’m somewhat relieved to know I have a female in the house … but this is another new surprise to add to the ’08 calender.
I’ve been racking my brain since I posted last in order to try to really comprehend of everything that’s happen this year.
Whether it be my laptop being stolen, my sister coming to visit me, a new car, a new car being broken into, an emotional roller coaster or whatever lies ahead(I’m sure there will be alot).
It will be a year to remember for sure. Whether it be good or bad, that’s yet to be determined.
I imagine it’s what I make of it. The weird thing is it has always been what I make of it and I never really realized it.
One, two princes kneel before you
That what I said now
Princes, princes who adore you
Just go ahead now
One has diamonds in his pockets
That’s some bread, now
This one said he wants to buy you rockets
Ain’t in his head, now
This one he got a princely racket
That’s what I said now
Got some Big Seal upon his jacket
Ain’t in his head now
You marry him, your father will condone you
How ’bout that now
You marry me, your father will disown you
He’ll eat his hat, now
Marry him, marry me
I’m the one that loved you baby can’t you see?
Ain’t got no future or family tree
But I know what a prince and lover ought to be
I know what a prince and lover ought be
Said if you want to call me baby
Just go ahead now
And if you like to tell me maybe
Just go ahead now
And if you wanted to buy me flowers
Just go ahead now
And if you like to talk for hours
Just go ahead now
Said one, two princes kneel before you
That what I said now
Princes, princes who adore you
Just go ahead now
One has diamonds in his pockets
That’s some bread, now
This one said he wants to buy you rockets
Ain’t in his head, now
Marry him, marry me
I’m the one that loved you baby can’t you see?
Ain’t got no future or family tree
But I know what a prince and lover ought to be
I know what a prince and lover ought be
Said if you want to call me baby
Just go ahead now
And if you like to tell me maybe
Just go ahead now
And if you wanted to buy me flowers
Just go ahead now
And if you like to talk for hours
Just go ahead now
And if you want to call me baby
Just go ahead now
And if you like to tell me maybe
Just go ahead now
And if you like to buy me flowers
Just go ahead now
And if you like to talk for hours
Just go ahead now
If you want to call me baby
Just go ahead now
And if you like to tell me maybe
Just go ahead now
If you want to buy me flowers
Just go ahead now
And if you like to talk for hours
Just go ahead now
Oh Baby!
Just go ahead now
Oh!
Just just go ahead now
Oh, your majesty!
Just go ahead now
Come on forget the King who… marry me!
Just go ahead now
Come on, come on, come on
Just go ahead now
Go ahead now
Just go ahead now
Working all day for a mean little man
With a clip-on tie and a rub-on tan
He’s got me running ’round the office like a dog around a track
But when I get home,
You’re always there to rub my back
Hey Julie,
Look what they’re doing to me
Trying to trip me up
Trying to wear me down
Julie, I swear, it’s so hard to bear it
And I’d never make it through without you around
Hours on the phone making pointless calls
I got a desk full of papers that means nothing at all
Sometimes I catch myself staring into space
Counting down the hours ’til I get to see your face
Hey Julie,
Look what they’re doing to me
Trying to trip me up
Trying to wear me down
Julie, I swear, it’s so hard to bear it
And I’d never make it through with out you around
No, I’d never make it through with out you around
[Bridge]
How did it come to be
That you and I must be
Far away from each other every day?
Why must I spend my time
Filling up my mind
With facts and figures that never add up anyway?
They never add up anyway
Working all day for a mean little guy
With a bad toupee and a soup-stained tie
He’s got me running ’round the office
Like a gerbil on a wheel
He can tell me what to do
But he can’t tell me what to feel
Hey Julie,
Look what they’re doing to me
Trying to trip me up
Trying to wear me down
Julie, I swear, it’s so hard to bear it
And I’d never make it through with out you around
No, I’d never make it through without you around
No, I’d never make it through with out you around
Every now and then, life sits atop a snow filled mountain and chucks a pebble down it’s slope. Before long, that pebble turns into a ferocious snowball that no one or nothing can stop.
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