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February 2008

Hello Dolly.

So alot has happened in the last week that’s kept me from my blog. Lets see … where to begin.  So last friday me and my buddy Fanelli went to Dave and Busters.  We ate, talked about the days of old and played some video games.  We played some more video games, and more video games and then it happened. The holy grail of a video gamers alike it finally happened! It took me two years and quite literally hundreds of dollars, and who knows how many hours! Regardless, it happened! It’s cemented my place in all the geekiness heaven, and the true title of “Gamer” it happened. *sighs*. It’s awesome. I finally got my D&B Gold Card! Wooohoooo! Go me! I’m stoked. So for those playing the home game that don’t know what D&B is, nor do you know what a gold card is. It’s basically Chucky Cheese for adults. A huge arcade with a bar. Pretty sweet eh? It also means that I can play video games for less. *sighs* It’s just awesome. :)

Of course, friday night my buddy had a lady friend show up that he was rather interested in. Once I saw her, I knew my night was over. Not that I minded, good for him. I just knew he’d be trying to get to know her better and I’d be left as the 5th wheel. Or 3rd wheel, but who’s counting? I went ahead and drank a bit(ok alot) more than I normally would have and needless to say I don’t remember much of the night. I’m sure I made some drunk calls, some drunk texts. I’m sure I made some silly comments but whoever I called, I’m sure I didn’t lie about anything, and I’m sure that if I poured my heart out it was nothing but the truth, the whole truth, so help me GOD.

Saturday night I went to see Ralphie Mae. Oh man was he hilarious! I think he was stoned though for the first bit of the show, he just looked out of it, but as sad as it was it was hilarious. It only added to the skit. Of course, if he wasn’t stoned out of his mind he was a damn good actor. He was pretty cool though. He waited for everybody to sign their items, or whatever they wanted. It was pretty cool. Great night. I didn’t get back until super late, so I slept in the next day.

That weekend was pretty good. Nice and eventful, and yet so relaxing. Just what the doctor ordered.

Monday I had a review at work and I think it went pretty well for the most part. I had a lot of questions answered and alot of doubts put to rest.

As most would know I’ve been looking to buy a new car for a long while now. A really long time actually. Since July 1, 2007, to be exact and that’s just when I documented it! Well Monday night I had a weird dream, and that morning when I woke up. I went ahead and went to every credit union in a 3 mile radius. At all the unions I was declined. No real reason or anything … I thought to myself “what the heck, just go to the dealership”. So to back up a bit, I’ve been doing a ton of research about the next vehicle I wanted. The options, the price, the monthly price, loan info … ect. Everything and anything. I also did most of my preliminary researching online.  Going to edmunds, or autotrader.com, or cars.com ect … all in the name of a new vehicle. There was one that I found in boulder that I really wanted, but it was a little out of my price range but I thought, what the heck. Go for it. So I did … and by the time the day was over with, I was driving her home.

It was a really good feeling. A really horrible feeling too. It’s hard to explain, besides the obvious, getting a car that you really didn’t think you could get would be the good feeling. The bad of course was giving up my keys to Betsie. I felt horrible … I still do actually. Of course, it was time we parted ways but never the less, it was difficult. Bah. The good thing is I didn’t feel I got robbed at the dealership, and I felt like everything went as well as it could have gone. It worked in my favor for sure that I went to the dealership prepared. Anyways, I’m to elated to actually go over all the details, but here are a few photos. If you want some more, click here. Even if you’ve seen photos, give it a click. I took some more.

So as I was driving to the dealership, all I could think of was “DOH!” I can’t believe I’m doing this. It’s been a long time coming for me, I felt I deserved it. Most importantly it all just feels right. That’s all I can ever ask for. So here is to my new FJ …. Dolly. Here is to a great time together! *toasts*

Night all.

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Saturday.

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A couple of the million things …

Life. You think you have a handle, a grasp on it and it can prove just how naive you really are. Furthermore, life has in it’s back pocket a few things we never expected, things that we never planned on. Whether it be a monkey, a wrench, or a curve ball. Always waiting in it’s back pocket to be shoved into the best made plans, usually unexpected. It’s never easy either, nor is it ever simple. It’s just one big game of Twister. It’s never “Just get down on all 4′s and you win”. It’s always “Put your left leg on yellow, wrap your right leg around your head counter clockwise and put it on blue, then take your left hand and place it on the other side of the twister board, and here is a new rule, you have to do 10 push-ups in that position”.

The easy button.

Wherever it is, if it even exists, has eluded me for the past 23 years.

So as I sit here before you today, with my right leg wrapped around my head on blue, my body in some weird pretzel shape that sadly would never have made it past the pretzel shop’s quality assurance testing, I’m here, optimistic, crazy(in a good way), ever trusting, of course worried, relaxed, calm, hopeful, excited, nervous, and most importantly happy. Even if I do get knocked over and required to start and play the “game” again,  I’m happy. I’m happy with where I’m at. I’m convinced that where I am at cannot be located even by mapquest, and yet I’m in a good location in my life. And yet there are still a million pieces in the air. All of which have fallen into their places for a reason, for whatever reason. I’m happy in knowing that I feel I’ve matured in ways that the old me would have frantically tried to re-arrange the pieces to better accommodate my selfish needs, and that the me of today has just let the pieces settle un-affected, to let them end up where they need be.

Whatever happens happens.

Whatever monkey climbs on my back I’ll piggy back it for as long as it takes, whatever wrench is tossed into the mix, whatever curve ball is thrown my way.

What ever happens happens. Even if it means the easy button never comes my way.

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We can drive it home with one headlight.

Some say that we never truly unlock the “power” of super computers given the limiting factors of input and output.  Meaning,  we can never truly  tell how fast a super computer is because nothing can keep up with it’s input/output demands.  Sometimes I feel that my mind works the same way. Thinking a million miles a minute. So many words, so many thoughts, so many emotions that need to be conveyed by simple words and yet my words can’t keep up. There isn’t enough time in the day, oxygen in the atmosphere, or age in my bones to really portray what it is I’m thinking. To explain every possible reason for my thought process. And when I do try, I form sentence structures that seem random and fragmented, and in times contradicting what was said but with valid reasons. Sometimes though my mind is just over loaded with it all, that the only thing I can do is to sit and lay still, speechless, staring at the ceiling trying to put forth proper sentences, trying not to sound like an idiot. It happens.

It happens more than I like to admit.

Today was one of those days. One of those days that’s led me to the bottle, that’s led me to a good cigar. Breathing in and out, nice and slow, deep breathes, letting the smoke fill my lungs and the nicotine induce me to a good buzz.

So before I enjoy myself too much let me finish up …

Ok. Before you go thinking I’ve fallen off the deep end with my AFDB, let me explain. I felt it was a necessary precaution in case aliens ever come to visit, my boss attempts to do a Vulcan mind meld, or the psychic divas read any more of my thoughts! So everybody should know by now my Spanish teachers and hostess are psychic.We decided last Tuesday instead of learning Spanish we would share our abilities(or in my case the lack there of) I don’t really believe this stuff for the most part, but after a series of events I figure I need to take necessary steps in order to protect myself. Hence the AFDB. You see, my boss gave me some “intuitive” advice which was spooky, and also I got a reading that portrayed some dead on information as well. I don’t get it, nor can I explain it, but … it’s happened so far like they said it would …

Speaking of not being able to explain it. I’ve really wanted to purchase a new vehicle as of late. There has been a few things postponing it. One being that I’m nervous about my financial situation, if I”m really ready for a car payment. Second, my tax return, aka my down payment, was a couple thousand dollars smaller than what I was expecting, and lastly I’m not sure what’s appropriate to have for a car to income proportion. /ugh. So today I went again looking at more vehicles and when I went to a few dealerships and parked my car, my check engine light turned on.

Double /ugh.

Oh well. Maybe it’s a sign. We’ll see …

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Is it just me, or is crushed pineapple the "hotdog” of the fruit world?

My day starts like it usually does. I reach blindly into my fridge, wiping and reach for an ice cold can of fruit. Whether that be a fruit mix, pineapple chunks, peach chunks, apple chunks, chunk this or chunk that. It’s tasty. It’s a decent breakfast, or at least better than what I’ve taken to eaten in the past which is nothing.

This day however I made a mistake. No chunky this, or chunky that, but crushed pineapple. Crushed? Are you kidding me? /sigh. I only say it’s the hotdog of the fruit world because crushed pineapple looks like every remaining disgusting part of the pineapple that didn’t make it into the whole/chunky containers.

/ugh.

Ok, so I need to get going, get a decent meal for today. I’m going to go coat shopping.

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