So yesterday when finding my new love, I decided I can’t just buy a pie alone, it needs companionship! So I decided to start crossing off items for Christmas that I needed to buy.

I started with my cousin D. Just a brief backstory. D has been through a lot, at no fault of his own. He’s been tossed around from state to state, school to school and on my recent trip home in which he’s now living, I realized that he’s behind the times when it comes to his education. Simple words he cannot spell(he spelt any ane) he couldn’t do simple subtraction. He’s 14. That’s a whole other can of worms which I wont’ get into. All he does is play video games, nothing else. No chores, no homework, nothing, but I digress. For christmas though, I have a feeling everybody will be buying him video games … which is fine, I don’t blame them. I’m a video game addict as well, but my goal this year for everybody I’m buying gifts for is to get them something they would never buy for themselves, and always secretly wanted, even if they didn’t know it.

I got to looking around for the perfect gift for D to start off with. I was looking online at Barnes and Nobles earlier brainstorming and realized the perfect gift would be the Lord of the Rings box set … with perhaps the audio guide so he could read along and correct any of his words he read incorrectly. The more I thought of it, the more I came to think to myself that he’d never even open the package to the box set, let alone the audio cd’s. He really wants video games, and sad to say the box set would probably end up going for 34 cents in one of the near garage sales.

So here I am at target. Pie in one hand, and with my free hand I thumbed through a few books. “The Giver”. Such a great book, one that I felt the movie “The Village” robbed it’s storyline from in it’s own weird thievery way, but apparently I’m the only one that thinks that way. A couple comedy books, “The book every boy needs”. Basically that book taught you how to make tree houses, tie nots, how to properly cook worms to eat ect …, Stephen colbert even had a book. I got to thumbing around and picked up this book named “His Dark Materials”. On the front cover has a picture of a woman and polar bear … I was hooked. A pretty lady and a bear, need I say more?

Intrigued, I sat down in the middle of target and started reading it … 40 minutes later I hear over the intercom that the store is about to close and to start making my way to the cash register.

And here I am, a day or so later, and I still can’t put the book down.

I didn’t know it, but apparently the movie “The Golden Compass” was derived from this book, so my goal is to finish at least the first part, and then check out the movie. It’s a pretty easy read, and I think if D would actually open up the damn thing, instead of fleeing in horror from the books small print and couple hundred pages, he might actually enjoy it.

I was the same way … so it’s hard for me to pass judgment.

When I was his age, I just wanted to be secluded on my computer, programming all day, and all night. Secluded away from the arguing and fighting, the chores, my parents and in a sense the outside world. When I got bored of programming, I just wanted to be left alone to play Final Fantasy 7. I know, 7 …. 7!(the best FF to date, not an opinion but a fact really) Regardless, besides he getting into so much trouble I feel I can relate to him and his position he takes on a daily basis.

I feel like a little kid again, with my nose buried in this book. Except this time, I’m not reading it after midnight because I have to write a summary or talk about it for discussion tomorrow morning. I’m not staying up all night reading an entire book I had 4 weeks to read and didn’t do any of it for the next days class … no. Not this time.

I’m reading it because it’s an enjoyable, alternate form of entertainment that I’m not accustomed to.

Now if only I can get D to open and at least try to read this book …. Maybe one day he’ll smile and feel like a kid again.

Blogged with Flock

I had some grand ambitions to blog a very insightful blog tonight, but after watching the Republican Debate, I really feel the need to lay into the alcohol again. Maybe even barf.

I can and will too, because I just found out that you can buy ice in a bag, a big ass bag of it no less. How cool is that? Mom would be proud … but I bet that mom would have just filled up the ice cube trays and not resorted to buying frozen water.

Well …. speaking of mom, I figure tomorrow I’ll do my Part Two, no better way to end NaPaBloMo in my opinion.

Should be going now. G’Night All.

Blogged with Flock

They say a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts. I’m not so sure … I think I claimed to love ub40 last night, which I do like a few of their songs, but far from “love”. It’s was weird re-reading that, because I don’t remember posting it, but I do somewhat remember screaming the lyrics to “Red Red Wine” and thinking to myself that I think my neighbors would probably hate me.

Yesterday was just one of those days where I thought I could handle it, but by days end, it was just too much for me. I’m pretty sure that anything I came into contact with broke or became unstable. Things didn’t work for me at work, my car battery died so I was late, I forgot my phone at home. Reality sunk in for a little too long, It was just one of those days.

One of those days where one drink turned into two, then three, then four … and then it turned into sucking on the bottle for a bit. Those nights are few and far between, not because I don’t want them, or I don’t invite them, but because I’m too lazy fill up my ice cube trays and anybody knows warm mixed drinks are no fun. I know, lazy right? Something about stumbling around my apartment, stubbing my toes on every step, at every turn, laughing at myself, and falling to the floor only to find myself staring at the ceiling with no thoughts in my mind, something about it is intoxicating. No pun intended. In all honesty it’s nice to just let loose on occasion as long as it’s not too often, and it’s not beyond ridiculousness.

It felt good just to relax though, even if it was all night even if I didn’t accomplish anything constructive. No video games. No cleaning. No problems or worries. Absolutely nothing.

Even if it was just for one night.

(left)Here is the end to last night, and to the end of MaBeGroMo ’07.
(right)Miss right. I was out to find her tonight. Ok, so I should rephrase. Not miss right, but miss right now. I think I found her. Her name is Marie Callender and she’s waiting for me …. I should be going now.

‘Cause you’re my, you’re my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don’t throw that away
‘Cause I’m here for you
Please don’t walk away and
Please tell me you’ll stay, stay, yeah

Blogged with Flock

Tags: Missright now

I`d have thought
That with time
Thoughts of her
Would leave my head
I was wrong
And I find
Just one thing makes me forget

bad day. car broke, battery died again, had to replace it … pretty shitty if I say so me self. what a shitty day. shitty indeed

oey. I can’t think. Can’t type … I should be in bed know.

I really hope this bottle of wine makes me forget …

my neighbors are tired of me shouting and singing id imagine.

fuck ‘em. I need a stogy … yes a stogy would be nice. very nice. indeed.

“Don`t let me be alone
It`s tearin` apart
My blue, blue heart”Don`t let me be alone
It`s tearin` apart
My blue, blue heart”

lolerskates. halarious photo. trip to NY my el’birthplace. haha. me, pleading my inoscents … rofl, I didn’t dos hit here. promise.

“ Red, red wine
Goes to my head
Makes me forget that I
Still need her so”

I <3 ub40. Yes, yes I do … i posted some new photos to my account.

just one thing makes me forget … red red wine ….

haha …

george says hello.

It’s love at first sight, I saw her turn right
I saw her heading right for the aisle with ripened apples
I stole a glance as she sorted through her bag but she caught me
Come on, stop being such a pussy . . .

Music Mondays.

We’ll see how how long this lasts for, but I figure I need some consistency and structure in my life. Most people do Fridays Feast, I started Thursdays Thought however nobody really answered my question:

Isn’t a boneless chicken wing just a chicken nugget?

So, I figure, given the lack of participation, and now that I’m back to blogging for therapeutic rather than theatrical reasons I’ll post about something that I really do love. Something that keeps me motivated, makes me realize I’m not alone, a good way to past time and something I’m not sure I could live without.

Music.

So here it is. To the start of Music Mondays.

Single File ~ “The Grocery Store”

I love music I can relate to, and I can relate to this song pretty well. I have a hard time talking to women as it is, let alone strangers in a grocery store, although I’ve seen alot of beautiful ladies I would have loved to at least said hello to.

I never get the chance to say hello though, I will usually steal a glance every now and then, and when I do a cloud of negative thoughts go through my mind. The first thought is ALWAYS ALWAYS “She’s out of my league …”. Then I get so mad, so resentful I start to think negatively. “She’s got a millionaire boyfriend …” or “She’s only interested in underwear super models …”. I suppose that’s why I’m single. No confidence. Usually when I get to thinking these negative thoughts, I’m usually frozen in my tracks as she passes. I’ll look up for a split second, we’ll lock eyes, and then I’ll pretend to go back to being my normal shy self, and that is to stare at the floor.

Right, because staring at the floor is normal.

I’m not sure what it is. Fear of rejection. Me not wanting to come across as some smooth suave dude which I’m not, or being an extrovert for a change. Besides, I don’t want a homeless guy asking me for change while I’m shopping, so I figure ladies don’t want to be bothered by some guy trying to dry hump her leg.

Right?

I just wish I could grow some big brass balls. Until then, I guess I’m stuck staring at the floor.

Blogged with Flock

Tags: stopbeing such a pussy, big brass balls, love, lust, music mondays