I have so many things to be thankful for today, and the sad thing is, it’s not even Thanksgivings day yet.
I’m so thankful to feel the breeze on my face, to feel the cool air as it passes through my shirt, to feel the nats as they hit my face.
As I ride past an older gentleman in a wheelchair, I realize that I’m thankful for the sweat that passes my eyes. I’m thankful for the burning sensation in my legs, and the burning I feel with every breathe I take.
Far too many times I find myself taking things for granted, taking my opportunities for granted. Just taking life for granted.
Sad, that sometimes it takes hitting a brick wall to realize everything that one has. I still feel I’ve hit a wall, but I’m still picking up the pieces.
As I sit here before my laptop, in the pitch black recess of my apartment I see George, just basking in the glow of his heating pad, re-arranging the sand to get comfy.
I see George living in the moment. Now, only worried about how well he’ll sleep before his light turns off. Not worrying about his next meal, not worrying about how he’ll find more food.
Just living in the moment.
It’s so much easier said than done, and yet George is doing it. So many people are doing it.
And yet I can’t quite grasp that concept.
Why is that?
Like a true idiot I’ll blame society, I’ll blame a chemical inbalance in my brain that can be remedied with drugs and pretend it’s nothing I can control, that I was predisposed of this condition from birth. My upbringing.
I know that’s not the case. It’s an imperfection of mine. Something that needs to be worked on.
In due time I imagine.
Everything comes and goes with time. All ailments pass with time, all success and failures come and go with time.
Time is the very essence of life, and yet for some people it’s considered to be their demise.
In due time I imagine.
Until then, I’ll sit here and type some more, admiring George and his lack of respect for time.
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In case you didn’t know, I’m in love with a sociopath 
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