Here it is, after midnight and I’m sitting awake here with Bill. It’s my fault really, I forgot to feed him supper. If I turn off his lights he freezes up and won’t eat. So, Bill has to eat, and it would seem I have to write.
What can I say?
I suppose I couldn’t even sleep if I wanted to. I’ve got a big headache, and I still can’t breathe through my nose. I suppose it was a blessing in disguise that my tube exploded on me. I would have driven myself into the ground without thinking twice about it. I’m sitting at a good 598 miles, which stinks because I have until July 7th to surpass 675. That way I can get at least 1 mile per dollar I spent on it within the first year. It’s hard to believe I’ve logged that many miles, it seems like yesterday that I bought it, and thought of buyers remorse.
Remorse.
That’s a word I’ve thought about alot lately. Probably because it ties in so closely to regret, which turns to sorrow, all of which is negative. I’m just lonely. Being here in this huge apartment alone, I find myself talking to myself more. I find myself arguing with, well .. myself more. There is only so much solitude a man can handle before he drops to his knees. Lonely can be a pretty strong word. Sometimes you want to be alone to gather your wits and thoughts and get your much needed "me time". Other times though, lonely starts the mind playing games with oneself. Everything in moderation.
That’s what I have to remember. Take my loneliness in moderation.
/sigh. I have no idea how the next few months of life will change things for me, but I’m hoping that time will change things for the better.
Time.
It can be your biggest friend. It can be your biggest foe.
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**switches gears**
I wouldn’t call this weekend a complete waste. I finished cleaning up my room, minus a few stashes of "where does this go, I don’t really care right now" piles. I’ve got a ton of those piles everywhere, but they are just going to have to wait until I’m good and ready to get them organized.
I feel semi-accomplished. For those that don’t know, semi-accomplished is where you feel accomplished, but not really. Great description I know … I cleaned my room, went to walmart and gathered some much needed supplies. I came home, watched some more soccer, folded my good clean smelling towels. I’m not a fan of laundry, but I have to admit, smelling a clean load of towels as they get out of the dryer has to be on the top of my list(somewhere) of my favorite smells. It reminds me of home.
I had to get out of the house and see the river, so I took the light rail to pretty much work, and walked to the park, sat by the river bed for a good hour or so, then headed home.
On the lightrail home, I saw this, and it made me smile.
<img src=http://www.ozweegoville.com/Chron/images/happy.jpg width=300>
It made me think to myself, that I would hope that anybody reading this give their significant other a hug or two. Especially if you feel you’ll spend forever together, because forever in your eyes, may only be another day or two in the eyes of another before the road splits and you find yourself alone, talking to yourself and wishing life had a fast forward button.
Good night all. Oh, and Bill says goodnight too.
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*hugs, big X, little X, little o big O*
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