<blockquote>
Why can’t I feel anything
from anyone other than you?
Why can’t I feel anything
from anyone other than you?

And all of this was all your fault
And all of this
</blockquote>

I suppose this is where I’m suppose to write something, but the gears in my brain are not churning nor is anything coming to mind. Just watching southpark … It’s hilarious.

I just got off the phone with a good friend. She’s having a "I have a crazy ex-boyfriend problems". We didn’t talk long but sounds like he’s been putting a good beating on her.

It’s crazy how some people fight. Some yell and scream at each other. Some people run and hide … others beat the crap out of their loved ones. In my family and pretty much every family around, it was always yelling and screaming and a ton of "woops, I didn’t mean it" name calling. In every case both sides would be heated, yelling and going after each other verbally, but my father, or any other fathers for that matter(that I knew), never laid a finger on their wives EVER. Crazy how people perceive a fight … some think that if your yelling and screaming and calling names that your going crazy on the verge of giving a beating … whereas others would laugh and call that normal.

For a man to lay a finger on a woman is cowardly. I have a ton of other names to describe an SOB that does that, however … I’m sure you get the picture.

I yell, I scream, I rip and take down pictures, but at the end of the day … I come home and I crank up TBS ….

Peace … I’m out …

Your lipstick, his collar.. don’t bother Angel
I know exactly what goes on

When everything you’ll get is
everything that you’ve wanted, princess
(well which would you prefer)
My finger on the trigger, or
(me face down, down across your floor)
Me face down, down across your floor
(me face down, down across your floor)
Well just so long as this thing’s loaded

And will you tell all your friends
you’ve got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
And will you tell all your friends
you’ve got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
let’s go…

Don’t bother trying to explain Angel
I know exactly what goes on when you’re on and
How about I’m outside of your window
(how about I’m outside of your window)
Watchin him keep the details covered
You’re such a sucker (you’re such a sucker)
for a sweet talker, yeah

And will you tell all your friends
you’ve got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
(the only thing that I regret is that I, I never let you hold me back)
And will you tell all your friends
you’ve got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin

Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don’t ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don’t ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don’t ever tell me
I know you well enough to know…

Why can’t I feel anything
from anyone other than you?
Why can’t I feel anything
from anyone other than you?

And all of this was all your fault
And all of this

(I stay jealous)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life
(she’ll destroy us all before she’s through
and find a way to blame somebody else)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life
(she’ll destroy us all before she’s through
and find a way to blame somebody else)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life!

<blockquote>
The faith you found I never felt (never felt)
The terror held in wedding bells
And comfort in there’s no one else
The truth be told I’m never gonna know
</blockquote>

It’s been 3 days. Ask me a week ago and I would have said 3 days would have been far to long between updates. Then I get to thinking about my life and how I always say to myself "Ask me *insert time period here* and I would have thought you were crazy".

For example. Ask me 2 months ago what my bedtime was and I would have responded about 9 o’clock. Now look at me, it’s about 12:15am and I’m just starting out my blog and feeling that the night has just begun! Ask me 6 months ago I would have told you how deeply I was in love. Now look at me. Finally comfortable enough with the situation with her, I was able to delete all of her photographs …. I wouldn’t delete them permanently because that was a fairly large time period of my life so I decided to archive them to a place where I’ll probably never look again. I also stopped myself from ripping up the photos of her that I had around in my room, but realized those too should be stored away in a deep dark cold place. I put them away in a bin I think I’ve checked once(well, twice now) since I’ve moved to Colorado 5+ years ago …

So for those that are curious. Stevie still does come around. Why I’m not quite sure. I’ve always somewhat known but this morning I got my daily update with my logs and around midnight or so I saw somebody from Nashville was surfing my site … weird … I have no fanclub in Nashville. I only know one person from that region …. heck, from that state. Hmmmm…… I wonder why she comes around here ….

Anyways, I’ve done really good not thinking about her and so I’ll continue before I interrupted myself …

Wow. 5 years …. Ask me 5 years ago and I would never have told you that I finally made it as a Software Developer making it on my own. I would have called you crazy in a heartbeat. I think the kc of 5 years ago would definitely smile had he known where he’d be at today. Or would I be smiling now? HAHA, ok I am, but just because me thinking about me smiling in the past(in the present) is somewhat of a recursion.

Alright. kc = dork.

I know this.

<blockquote>
Babe, this wouldnÂ’t be the first time.
It will not be the last time.
We tried to believe everything would get better.

We’ve been lying to each other.
Hey Babe, let’s just call it, call it,
call it, what it is.
</blockquote>

So me and Jess went to Micro Center and my weekend favorite sonic today. It was damn tasty(Micro Center was anyways ). I bought a new web cam because my current one only works with IR light, and with regular light it looks kind of weird because of my hack project I did a while back. For those that don’t recall(or because I never mentioned it), I turned my normal everyday web cam into a night vision camera with a article I was reading on hackerlife.com. I turned it into a night vision to monitor how I was sleeping and that’s also the time period I became an electrical engineer/soldering iron master. I had to solder my IR lights all around my room to illuminate it enough to catch the video(perhaps I’ll show the video of me walking around my room like a zombie sometime, really creepy).

**off topic**. Cassie, sorry for the comma/period neglected ,far too long, far too many parenthesis, "…."’s and run on sentences, but I’m a not a journalist and therefore you will have to suffer.

**back on topic**

<blockquote>
And I can’t make it on my own.
(And I can’t make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

Spare me just three last words.
"I love you" is all she heard.
I’ll wait for you, but I can’t wait forever.
</blockquote>

I called mom today.

My aunt is in the hospital. /shrug. She’s got some sort of something wrong with her. Great explanation I know, but I really have no idea what the f00k is up with her. All I know is the doctors put her in a chemically induced coma until they figure out what’s going on and the best way to treat her.

My mom also wanted to see if I got my V-Day package. It’s a little late but I definitely love mom and I appreciate her kindness towards me. I really feel undeserving but hey, I’m not complaining.

Inside of her care package were a ton of goodies. Candy, cards, movies! Hoorrraaaay for movies! She sent me one called The Departed. Such a great flick. Among the many many goodies she sent, I found a little booklet of a bunch of pictures of the newest member Kaylee. I thought I’d share because kaylee is so damn cute. I really want to get a puppy … especially looking at how adorable they can be:
<center><a href=http://www.ozweegoville.com/Chron/images/kaylee2.jpg target=_new><img src=http://www.ozweegoville.com/Chron/images/kaylee2.jpg width=350></a></center>

How precious is she!?!?!?!?! That’s a picture of a picture by the way. Still a good shot I thought.

<blockquote>
Liar (liar)
If we’re keeping score
We’re all quiet boys at best
(interested and arrogance)
Liar (liar)
If we’re keeping score
We’re all quiet boys at best
(interested and arrogance)
Liar (liar)
Liar (liar)
It takes one to know one
</blockquote>

So besides ripping down my pictures of her, putting up kaylee pictures everywhere, talking to my mom, going to geek heaven and cleaning my room I was finally able to get my laptop over to Linux 100%. Included with that is getting my addiction WoW working on it too. Amazing what people have been doing with Cedega/Wine. Just amazing. When I was watching the opening movie I was just astonished. How cool is that? Amazing(ok I’ll stop now).

Next is going to be my desktop. My only problem is my video card I bought took up all of the legacy power connections on my power supply(hence my trip to Micro Center). Now I have no power to my DVD R/RW drive I had to get a Y connector and an extension cable. That’ll be my project for tomorrow. The more I use kubuntu the more I love it. All of the applications FREE … and they are the same, if not better than the windows version. I’m really starting to learn my way around the OS. Now that I have wow, I’m a happy camper.

<blockquote>
How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget you don’t expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can’t expect a bit of hope
So while you’re outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you’re staring at is me
</blockquote>

Anyways, I’m so tired. I’m ready for bed, but before I go I wanted to share this song. It’s a great song …. from taking back sunday called miami

<b>**EDIT**</b>
I should probably add the song lyrics Might prove useful …

I’m looking at you through the glass
Don’t know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget you don’t expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can’t expect a bit of hope
So while you’re outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you’re staring at is me

‘Cause I’m looking at you through the glass
Don’t know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

How much is real?
So Much to Question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
We thought came from the heart
But never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises
(No more sad voices)
Before you tell yourself
It’s just a different scene
Remember it’s just different from what you’ve seen

I’m looking at you through the glass
Don’t know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
[ Lyrics found on http://www.metrolyrics.com ]

‘Cause I’m looking at you through the glass
Don’t know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

And it’s the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it’s the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah ah

I’m looking at you through the glass
Don’t know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

‘Cause I’m looking at you through the glass
Don’t know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

And it’s the stars
The stars that shine for you, yeah ah
And it’s the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah ah
And it’s the stars
The stars that shine for you, yeah ah
Fuck it’s the stars that lie
The stars that lie to you, yeah yeah

Oh when the stars
Oh when the stars that lie.