She’s suddenly beautiful, We all want something beautiful
Posted in The PastPosted in The PastMarch 25, 2007No comments
Every so often one sits back and reflects on the things we did when we were kid. The thoughts we had about how we would never be like our parents, or grandparents. It’s amazing how different we all our from our parents, and yet so much alike. I imagine thats normal given the fact that they reared us and also the fact that we had to live under their house with their rules for almost 20 years.
My father used to drink quite a bit when I was a kid and there would be times when I’d walk home from my friends house 2 or 3 blocks away and just hear journey tunes playing just as loud as the speakers would let them. I’d usually walk in and he’d be out of it. Usually passed out or completly oblivious to everything. Sprawled out on the living room floor with a beer in his hand, but he’d have journey going. It used to scare me at first but after a while not only did I get used of it, I realized that’s how my father escaped all of life’s hardships. Whether it was the Journey tunes or the alcohol, I’m not quite sure … I always told myself that I would never do that, and that I’d never be like my father.
Today I had a beer or two, then a few shots and before I knew it, got a little tipsy and without even realizing found myself with the Offspring just blasting as loud as I could get it as I was sprawled out on my bedroom floor dazing at the ceiling. I chuckled … as it reminded me of my father.
OH WAIT! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
After my two second panic, I realized that being like my father’s not such a bad thing. He took great care of his family, worked as hard as he could to give us a better life that he was given, never laid a harmful or bitter finger on my mother, and most importantly he’s always seemed interested in me and my sister’s life.
Half inebriated I lifted my head off the ground to turn off my music and just crawl into my bed … call it day. I started to chuckle again, only to see my bike leaning against my dresser.
My grandfather rides his bike all the time.
/sigh
Oh dear … not my grandfather too ….
I realized that I do so many things like my parents and my grandparents it’s sickening. Even more sickening, is how completely alike we are, and yet complete opposites.
This weekend I reserved for reflection period. Somewhat of a get away and it was really nice actually. I really need to do it more often. I learn alot about myself, more so than one would imagine, but enough to warrant more weekends in the future for the purpose of reflection.
After I had the offspring blaring, I decieded to switch it up to a more somber band the counting crows. I love the crows … great lyrics. Great mood and I think everybody can relate.
At least I can.
And after a few hours of the crow and watching my room spin around, I put in all the comedy I could find.
I think that’s when it hit me …
If your not laughing, your not living.

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