<blockquote>
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don’t ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don’t ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don’t ever tell me
I know you well enough to know…
</blockquote>

So I can’t sleep again. Here it is past midnight and for the 4th night in a row, I probably won’t get to bed until super late. I suppose that’s okay given I don’t have to be up until 7:30-8 or so… It just gets tiring, I get in coughing fits, or my throat gets so raw that it makes me get a sip of water. Quite annoying. I’m hoping hard alcohol and nightquil will do the trick. We’ll see …

This is somewhat offtopic, but figured because it’s a health alert I’d share: "Never moon a warewolf".

Also kinda offtopic, a congratulations is in order to Jess and Taylor. They are engaged! Woohooo! Shrimp and cocktail compliments of Taylor’s parents!

hehe.

Late friday night before I was leaving home from work, I went through all of my ozweegoville folders and for old times sake read everything. So crazy …

4 years ago I made a sample website called "chronicles" and it captivated me so much I’ve been pounding away all weekend, or at least in my spare time this weekend, to get it completed. I’m really excited and really happy too. It gave me a time to reflect and this mood/zone I’m in, lonley, to myself, blah blah blah time I get in happens ever so often, and when it does, websites like those are reminders of good times. Just another day I suppose.

What else? Oh, I’ve actually got a ton of stuff done this weekend. I spent waaaaay to much money but it was all needed. One of those /sigh moments. I went to the eye doctor and used my insurance to get a new pair of glasses. Also I used my insurance to help pay for some of my contact lenses. It’s good that they(insurance) helped me pay for it all but it just made me realise how un-benificial it is to have eye insurance. You only need glasses every 4-5 years(or at least I do) and most of the times contacts are pretty cheap. So to spend 80 bucks on contacts OR spend 40 dollars on contacts AND 3 bucks a month for a year doesn’t really make sense. A whopping 5 dollar savings. Thanks insurance!

Hmmmm …..

I also bought a ton of books this wekeend. I finally was able to finish my Audacity of hope book. It was really great book, my only complaint is that I needed a dictionary to read the stupid thing. Besides that, it was great and I noticed quite a few books these days that are like that, so it wasn’t out of the norm. Also, there are alot of skeptics out there as to how well he’ll do. Two standpoints besides the stupid party lines is experienced and inexperienced. I’m super excited to see how he does in the coming months. Guliani is running as well. I’m excited for him too, becuase when it comes to politics, the white house and the best damn country on the planet, I think they are the least corrupt of them all, political standpoints put aside.

I hate politics because it’s all political

Anywho …

I bought more books to read on the light rail. One was a linux guide, pretty much the man pages in a nice and neat(easy to read) format. I also bought a tony robbins unleash the giant within book. We’ll see how far I can get through a self-help book. For those that are wondering, no I don’t need self-help, I just so happened to go to the computer programming books and low and behold, behind it was the self help books. I found it amusing. Computer programmers/self help books. No, not even a little amusing?

ok. I’m tired. Maybe now I can get a little sleep?

So today was pretty cool. I got alot done at work today and afterwards me and jess went to the rock bottom brewery for a beer and wings. Both were pretty tasty. I had the <b>16th Street Wheat</b>. Damn tasty. Wings weren’t bad either but Hooter’s wings are better.

During lunch today I went around cherry creek and found a specific flag shop. Thousands of flags … and the one I’ve been looking for forever I finally got. I’m have it in a temporary location until I get my room rearranged.

<img src=http://ozweegoville.com/simplistic/pow.jpg width=235>

It’ll go nicely next to my american flag.

So I’ve been coding up a storm today on my personal website. Adding the backend features it definetly needed. Relaxing, trying to recover from my sickness. Today when I woke up, it felt like I got hit from both sides by a train. My legs and arm ache, my nose won’t stop running and to make matters worse, I pulled my calf muscle during my sleep(don’t ask me how).

So yesterday alot of stuff happened between me and *insert name here*. I admit, I went overboard … and the way I see it, I was definetly out of charachter, but not so much out of line. I apologised, and of course to no evail. Apparently the damage has already been done and there would be no way to get our relationship back on track. Apparently it’s possible to have 2 great years together(or perhaps those "great" years were one-sided?) and have it all wash away in a day. I need to stop thinking about this …. /sigh. However, in my eyes it’s further proof that something fishy was going on.

Of course me and my folks talk, and this came up. They were sad to see her go but my dad told me of a story about my mom and him that made me laugh all day. Basically how they were on the fritz becuase my mom was dating somebody while dad was off at boot camp. Mom! How shady is that! hehe … 25 years later … they are still together and doing very well. Morale of the story is not that when the crap goes downhill you get back together, just that from time to time crap goes downhill and when it quiets down, make sure to buy a shitton of toilet paper to get yourself out of it.

At least I can say I tried, but hey, at least she got her much prized possession(her phone) out of all of this.

…

I’m so tired, it’s 2 in the morning, and yet I can’t sleep no matter how hard I try. I coded so long tonight that the contacts were permenantly burning into my eyes. It was nice to get back to coding given it’s been so long. My throat is so sore from strep(sp?) it’s beyond ridiculous.

I have a ton of stuff I need to do tommorow … oh dear.

Jackass is on right now … Thank God for jon stewart, jackass and Comedy Central late night. Is saying God and Jon Stewart in the same sentance a bad thing? What about God and Jackass in the same sentance?

Hmmm … intresting. Discuss amongst yourselves.

It was this time about 3 years ago that I recieved a knock on my door from the woman of my life, giving me my keys back, blankets back and such. It was a pretty sobering moment, but one that I quickly let go and easily set aside to play video games.

Same shit, diffrent flies.

Kind of weird, I blogged about this the other day about how around valentines I was cheated on and broken up with and stuff.

Same shit, diffrent flies.

Take you back a few months ago, me and *insert name here* decieded things between us would get kind of hairy. She was going into her last term and we both knew that it would be tough to see each other. I didn’t realise it would be not seeing each other period, let alone the rare phone call and extra rare text message.

3 weeks went by … and I sent a text stating that I missed her, and I recieved a text message back that said "I’m sorry". Also take into consideration that she didn’t seem all that bothered by the fact we never talked, given I was a distraction last time we had talked which was a while ago … so basically "I’m sorry" was equivalant to, "I’m sorry, I don’t feel that way". I responeded back how we should see other people and such, of course we talked then. I found it odd that the only real thing she was upset about was our phone … hmmm … Anywho … to get on with it, this morning I booted up my old laptop becuase I was going to reimage it and take it to work today … and I hopped on, started browsing the web. Slashdot, comedycentral for jon stewart and gmail. I open up gmail and there is a new message so I open it. Alot of rambling and talking about dating and stuff. Sounded like the girl he was trying to date was already taken by some other guy.

I wondered what the heck all that was about. I didn’t dawn on me that I was in stevie’s email from the last time she was on my computer.

So I was, irate to say the least … and there were 3 things that really got to me.

1.) In the email she said she was already basically dating some guy named colin. Ok … unless my secret regis codename is colin, that tells me she’s cheating on me.

2.) Supposidly they were talking in a car. On sunday. On Superbowl sunday. The same sunday she told me she was too busy to hang out, and yet she’s with some other guy …

3.) She dodged every question I threw at her and basically said I did a no no for reading an email in whcih I thought was mine.

Oh well … I don’t really care, we were going to break up anyways, this just makes things easier. I can’t beileve she would do that, nor can I beileve she would lie to me about it and even now lie to me about it. Better yet, I can’t beileve she expects me to assume her best friend is lying and that I misinterpreted what he was saying.

It’s hard to beileve that for the first time in my life I found somebody whom I’d be okay with spending the rest of my life with, and yet they were off with somebody else.

I saw this coming, if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have told everybody about it a week ago … I just didn’t think she was seeing somebody else, I didn’t see that nasty side of her, ever really …

Well, whomever she’s dating … I hope she has a great.

I also hope that she listens to the song by Taking back sunday, Cute without the E.

Matches us perfectly.

Have a good one.

PS.
Don’t cry for me argentina.

Your lipstick, his collar.. don’t bother Angel
I know exactly what goes on

When everything you’ll get is
everything that you’ve wanted, princess
(well which would you prefer)
My finger on the trigger, or
(me face down, down across your floor)
Me face down, down across your floor
(me face down, down across your floor)
Well just so long as this thing’s loaded

And will you tell all your friends
you’ve got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
And will you tell all your friends
you’ve got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
let’s go…

Don’t bother trying to explain Angel
I know exactly what goes on when you’re on and
How about I’m outside of your window
(how about I’m outside of your window)
Watchin him keep the details covered
You’re such a sucker (you’re such a sucker)
for a sweet talker, yeah

And will you tell all your friends
you’ve got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
(the only thing that I regret is that I, I never let you hold me back)
And will you tell all your friends
you’ve got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin

Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don’t ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don’t ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don’t ever tell me
I know you well enough to know…

Why can’t I feel anything
from anyone other than you?
Why can’t I feel anything
from anyone other than you?

And all of this was all your fault
And all of this

(I stay jealous)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life
(she’ll destroy us all before she’s through
and find a way to blame somebody else)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life
(she’ll destroy us all before she’s through
and find a way to blame somebody else)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life!

I’m super sleepy, but figured I’d update my fanclub(or lack there of). Its actually pretty nice not having too many people visit … that just means that I get to keep what I say to myself.

**OFF TOPIC**
Firefox 2.0 is pretty dang slick … I only say that because it’s got spell check. How cool is that? I decided to upgrade to suse 10.1 which I’m loving …

Ok, back on track ….

Yesterday was my first day at my new job. I must say, it’s exceeded 100 fold what my expectations were. I can show up pretty much any time I want and as long as I get my stuff done, were gravy. So as long as I get in before 9 … I can usually get out by about 5 or so, depending if there are any "fires" to put out. Maybe more on that later … My first coding project is to develop a ticketing system(and/or) configure a pre-built one and modify it to do what we need. It is however going to be far more "tech-support" that I thought, but it’s cool regardless. I’ve been taking the light rail. Its been alot of fun really. I just sit back and read my book by mr obama, or the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy or I listen to my music. All are pretty enjoyable and let me detach myself from the real world.

As for me and Stevie. I’m pretty sure we are on the out and out. We really don’t talk, don’t text message each other. We are just a phantom of each others imagination really. I say that I love her, and I get a message back stating we are on different pages. I suppose I should get a clue … It’s amazing how within a few weeks things can change 180 degrees differently. Last time this happened to me was on valentines day about 2-3 years ago, and I found out that I was being cheated on. coincidence? Sometimes I think not …

At least I hope not … who knows.

Rise Against ~ Like the Angel
hey turn the lights down low,
In shadows hiding from the world,
Only coming out when it gets cold

The seas part when they hit the floor,
The voices carry on and out the door
And everything you touch turns into gold

Like the angel you are you laugh creating a lightness in my chest,
Your eyes they penetrate me,
(your answers always maybe)
Thats when I got up and left

A beating heart and a microphone,
A ticking clock in an empty home
Still tells of these times so long ago,
And even though Ive come so far, I know
Ive got so far to go and any day now Ill explode

Like the angel you are you laugh creating a lightness in my chest,
Your eyes they penetrate me,
(your answers always maybe)
Thats when I got up and left

Each and everyday it leads into tomorrow
And tomorrow brings one less day without you
But dont wait up just leave the light on
Cause all the roads that I might take will all one day lead back to you

Like the angel you are you laugh creating a lightness in my chest,
Your eyes they penetrate me,
(your answers always maybe)
Thats when I got up and left