<blockquote>
I’ve seen sinking ships go down with more grace than you

Turn this up I’ll tune you out
Another night alone in the city, yeah
Fake it like you matter-that’s a lie we can both keep, ohh
</blockquote>

<rant>
headphones = do not disturb
Never sit next to grandmas on the light rail(by grandma I mean any lady’s who’s $age >= 30)
</rant>

Having said that, I think in the past week I’ve had to endure at least 3 women’s life adventures and how messed up their lives are. Step in line ladies … cant I just listen to my music in peace?

So a quick update on urgent and very cool news. Bill is alive! For those that don’t know the story, basically Bill our lizard has been missing for 2+ months, and today I found him crawling out behind the tv …. pretty weird. He’s so skinny, and the fact he’s been without food/water for 2 months or so is even more unbelievable. I personally think he was stuck inside our tv and was too fat to get himself out. Just my opinion.

It’s Friday, can you believe it? How amazing is that … pretty amazing I think.

A very funny man by the name of George Carlin once said, "I don’t have pet peeves; I have major psychotic fucking hatreds".

I’d have to agree with that.

The moral of that story is that I’m completely done with Stevie. I don’t hate her, but it wouldn’t kill me if I never had to talk to her again. She’s not even suffering like I am which is a pity. That new guy must be treating her a billion times better than me. Apparently that happens more than I think, because my ex before her ended up getting pregnant and is engaged … I must be good luck for women. If they date me, their next boyfriend will soon be a finance.

The moral of that short story is for the ladies … date me if you want to get married someday. HAHA, what a great slogan …

Having said that. I’m done with it. Done with thinking about her, done with getting jitters every time I think about her, and more importantly done for tonight. I think I’m going to go to bed … I’m exhausted and am probably rambling by now …

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Great song by Fall out Boy

"Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here)"

I am such a sucker
And I’m always the last to know
My insides are copper
And I’d kill to make them gold
Conversation got me here: another night alone in the city
So make my bed the grave and shovel dirt onto my sheets

[Chorus:]
Every friend we ever had in common
I will sever the tie, sever the tie with you
You can thank your lucky stars
That everything I wish for will never come true

When you go, I will forget everything about you [x2]

I’ve seen sinking ships go down with more grace than you

Turn this up I’ll tune you out
Another night alone in the city, yeah
Fake it like you matter-that’s a lie we can both keep, ohh

[Chorus]

When you go, I will forget everything about you [x2]

I will forget when you go
I will forget everything about you when you go
I will forget everything about you

[Chorus]

<blockquote>
I can’t escape walking down these halls
Hard to find a place where there are no walls
And no lines begging me to cross
Only straight ahead better move along
</blockquote>

<rant>
hehe, So I figured out why everything worth a damn is made in Korea/China.

Two words. Small hands.

I just got done switching out an lcd for an lcd(don’t ask me why long story) and there were about 1,543,231,091 screws …. all of which, 60 were not put back Oh well, works better now and its 60 screws lighter I figure. All this time I thought I had relatively small hands but given how much of a hard time the stupid things were given me, I suppose not.
</rant>

<today>
It’s been super nice not needing to wake up super early. It’s even been nice working late. I come home to an empty house, which sucks, but its good practice I imagine. In time I’ll be coming home to an empty house for good, and it’s kind of sobering. /gulp. I’ve been apartment shopping so it shouldn’t be to bad, and by the time I’ll have to move out I should get my raise at work and all will be back to normal in the universe. I hope so anyways ….

Getting on with it, today was he first day I was late to the lightrail. Kind of stunk but I figured I wouldn’t buy a pass today given I have never been checked in 3 weeks. Well what do you know … the lady who checks the tickets was on the train coming down. Luckily I spotted her before she spotted me. Like a smooth criminal I made my escape. HAHA, far from it. Anybody that knows me can vouch that I wouldn’t do anything that wasn’t morally right. As soon as I saw her, my heart jumped out of my chest, and it was funny too because the train stopped, the door closed, and there I was just frozen in time. Jaw on the floor. All along I kept saying to myself "GET OUT OFF THE TRAIN DUMB DUMB!". The doors closed, and then I leap out of my chair. haha … oh dear. Too late … doors moving. Are you kidding me!?!?! Luckily the guy behind us was a chatter and chatted up a storm(haha, probably because he didn’t have a ticket either). I hopped off at the next station, paid my buck fifty and then hopped back on. /whew. Disaster diverted. I was scared to death, but it was really funny afterwards. I think for me because I jumped out my seat AFTER the doors closed … lol … I had to sit down to the lady on the other side of me and I’m sure she was thinking what a fruit loop I was. But hey, I meant to get jump out of my seat like a maniac and start to sweat as if the hoover damn just broke.

I kinda knew that today was going to be one of those days. Last night I woke up somewhat paralyzed and I knew something was fishy. Like I was being abducted, or GOD was telling me I needed to slow the fook down. Knowing that aliens didn’t want anything with a suburbanized white guy(aliens only go after people in the south, think about it! When have you ever heard of a New Yorker being abducted? NEVER! Being a New Yorker myself I figured I was immune) I figured it must have been the almighty himself. Oh well … he didn’t say much but then again he never does. At least not in the movies, he just sits there glowing. I suppose I’d be glowing too if I were GOD.

Ok, I think I’ve lost it …..

Back on track …

I got off work pretty late today. Like I said earlier, it’s pretty nice to get my mind off things. I’ve been listening to alot of music lately. In fact, right now I’m listening to heaven is a place on earth a cover by student rick. Pretty good band … but I’ve been listening to alot of random stuff from www.pandora.com and found one today that I really like by Trapt.

I was going through a bunch of pictures and found this one of me and stevie that I really liked.

<img src=http://www.ozweegoville.com/Chron/images/09-22-06_1914.jpg width=300>

I only show it because here soon I’m going to have to get rid of them all that have her in it just so I don’t look like the weird ex that’s stalking her or something.

… I just need time ….

Perhaps this weekend … until then, check out this song by trapt. Awesome song, oh and a quick shout out to Abby. She got married … Congrats!
</today>

Trapt – These Walls
Something missing
Left behind
Search in circles
Every time I try
I’ve been here before
I’ve seen you before

I can’t escape walking down these halls
Hard to find a place where there are no walls
And no lines begging me to cross
Only straight ahead better move along

Like Clockwork
I commit the crime
I pretend to be
everything they like
I’ve been here before
I’ve seen you before

I can’t escape walking down these halls
Hard to find a place where there are no walls
And no lines begging me to cross
Only straight ahead better move along

And I trade everything for this
And I trade everything for this
Why do I read the writing on the wall
Why do I read the writing on the wall

I won’t lose my place in line
I’ve been here too long and I’ve spent to much time
I won’t lose my place in line
I’ve been here too long and I’ve spent too much time

Something missing
Left behind
Search in circles
Every time I try
I’ve been here before
I’ve seen you before

I can’t escape walking down these halls
Hard to find a place where there are no walls
And no lines begging me to cross
Only straight ahead better move along

And I trade everything for this
And I trade everything for this
Why do I read the writing on the wall
Why do I read the writing on the wall
Why do I read the writing on the wall
Why do I read the writing on the wall

Last night I went to the aquarium, and posted pictures in the aquarium section .. check them out ..

"I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be."

Hehe, I need to watch that movie sometime soon. It was a classic for sure. Right now I’m watching rush hour and then I’ll be heading to bed. Actually, I’ll probably watch rush hour while in bed. Hopefully fall into a nice deep peaceful sleep. An uneventful night like I’ve had the past 3-4 months would be greatly appreciated. We’ll see though, I had far to many sugary donuts today. I was so hyper, which is why I think I’m going to be crashing hard here pretty soon.

**off topic** Jacki chan is awesome, I don’t care who you are.
**on topic**

Like I was saying, today I did alot of nothing. It was pretty great actually. I don’t really want to do it too often because with that much time to yourself, it’s hard not to think.

In my case it’s hard not to think. I’ve been thinking alot about alot of things. Stevie, work, donuts, video games, life, donuts, you know …life.

As with everything I’ve thought alot but really haven’t thought about it. No idea if that makes sense or not. With donuts I think I’ve eaten too much(and that jess has eaten waaaaaay more), with work I feel I’ve just hopped on board a gravy train, however only time will tell with that one. Video games, I finally am getting a chance to sit down and play at leisure, and with Stevie. Every time I think about her all I see is some other guy. I think it helps in this road to recovery, but it still hurts.

Regarding life, I’m still getting over a nasty cold. Every morning for the past 2 weeks I’ve woken up only to feel that my body was squashed by about 10 trains all at once.

Great times right?

Needless to say this road to recovery has taken all I have.

Road to Recovery ~ Rufio
He never thought someone would come along
And show him a feeling he’s always dreamed of.
She didn’t plan on falling in love.
Upset the balance she’s wanted so long.

This road to recovery
Has taken all I have.
It seems hard
As I try
To succumb once again…again…

Well he lost control and gave up his heart.
To follow the girl that he’s always dreamed of.
She pulled away so scared of a love
That might have been more than she had planned on.

This road to recovery
Has taken all I have.
It seems hard
As I try To succumb once again…again…

Well love is a bitch all relationships end.
What happens now
When that persons gone.
The one who you thought
You could always count on.
You fall in love
And they fall out.
Love is a bitch.
All relationships end.

How do I let go of a love
That meant so much to me.
How do I go on
When your part of me.
I’m dying inside
Each time i see you.
Don’t lose sight of me
Cause yer all i see.
Your still all i see.
This road to recovery has taken all i have.

I don’t want to pat myself on the back or anything, but I’m really starting to dig the website. Maybe it’ll stay up for more than 2 weeks? haha, hopefully … Now I can devote time to R&R ….

Anywho, I forgot to mention I’m going to the aquarium tonight, so hopefully i’ll have some sweet pictures for everybody, posted later tonight of course.

Today was a pretty good but rough day for me. I think it finally hit me that she’s not ever going to call, write ect … On one hand it’s like a huge weight lifted off my back, but on the other side its like Dane Cook took his CT2000 and hit me square in the chest.

With that realization becoming more and more a reality I decided to do something that I’ve been wanting to do now well … heck ever since I moved to Denver. I had saved up quite a bit of money for a ring and was hording it until the time was right. All of my buddies at work said that it didn’t matter when you popped the question, just that you DID pop the question. Mom kept telling me too that I should just hurry up and do it, given she knows best and the fact that women usually get impatient and stupid problems arise when they know a relationship isn’t going anywhere. Parents, friends, buddies … everybody agreed. I figured before she left out of the country that I’d pop the question. Somewhat glad I didn’t buy the ring and somewhat glad that I didn’t pop the question. I would have looked like an idiot on one knee to hear "uh yea, I’m dating somebody else, sorry".

We both weren’t ready for it, but one thing I was convinced is that because you pop the question doesn’t mean you have to get married right away, that it is perfectly possible to pop the question and get married a year or two down the line.

It’s funny how you have things planned in your mind, and they go astray(really astray).

So today it hit me. /gulp. I hit back, twice as hard.

I spent about three quarters of everything I saved up at MicroCenter.

For those that don’t know, MicroCenter is heaven reserved only for the geeky of geeks. So not only is it tough to get into heaven, it’s twice as tough to get into MicroCenter heaven.

So what geekyness did I get today?
Hmmmm …. so that’s easy I upgraded my video card to a 7950GTOC(512, SLI ready), 160gb HD, an extra gig of ram to go along with my 3ghz ht mobo 800mhz fsb.

/drools.

Oh, and lets not forget Bevis and Butthead do America.

I figure while she’s got herself a new guy in her life, I’ve got a kick ass system now.

So besides that, I suppose today has been a pretty sweet day. I really should stop throwing myself these pity parties, and I hope soon enough they will end. Reminds me of a TBS song where he talks about how tired he is of writing every song about her. I feel that way sometimes.

In time I’d imagine. In time ….

But for now my time is up, I need to get busy taking apart my desk/computer and get everything up and running.

So I need you is a song by 3 doors down(better played via the acoustic version IMHO) which reminds me of her every time I play it. She hated it, I loved it. I think that pretty much sums up the relationship doesn’t it?

If you could step into my head,
tell me would you still know me
And if you woke up in my bed,
tell me then would you hold me
Or would you simply let it lie,
leaving me to wonder why
I can’t get you out of this head
that I call mine
And I will say

Oh no I can’t let you go, my little girl
Because you’re holding up my world
So I need you.
Your imitaion of my walk and the perfect way you talk
It’s just a couple of the million things that I love about you

So I need you
So I need you
So I need you
So I need you

And if I jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge,
Tell me would you still follow me
and if I made you mad today,
tell me would you love me tomorrow?
Please. or would you say that you don’t care,
and then leave me standing here
Like the fool who is drowning in despair and screamin’

Oh no I can’t let you go, my little girl
Because you’re holding up my world,
so I need you.
Your imitaion of my walk and the perfect way you talk
It’s just a couple of the million things that I love about you.

So I need you
So I need you
So I need you
So I need you

I’m on my own
I’m on my own
I’m on my own (oh no no no no no yeah yeah)

Oh no I can’t let you go my little girl
Because your holding up my world,
so I need you.
Your imitation of my walk and the perfect way you talk
It’s just a couple of the million things that I love about you.

So I need you
So I need you
So I need you
So I need you, baby yeah

"Learn to love yourself, ’cause if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?" ~ RuPaul.