So I need you.

Today was a pretty good but rough day for me. I think it finally hit me that she’s not ever going to call, write ect … On one hand it’s like a huge weight lifted off my back, but on the other side its like Dane Cook took his CT2000 and hit me square in the chest.

With that realization becoming more and more a reality I decided to do something that I’ve been wanting to do now well … heck ever since I moved to Denver. I had saved up quite a bit of money for a ring and was hording it until the time was right. All of my buddies at work said that it didn’t matter when you popped the question, just that you DID pop the question. Mom kept telling me too that I should just hurry up and do it, given she knows best and the fact that women usually get impatient and stupid problems arise when they know a relationship isn’t going anywhere. Parents, friends, buddies … everybody agreed. I figured before she left out of the country that I’d pop the question. Somewhat glad I didn’t buy the ring and somewhat glad that I didn’t pop the question. I would have looked like an idiot on one knee to hear "uh yea, I’m dating somebody else, sorry".

We both weren’t ready for it, but one thing I was convinced is that because you pop the question doesn’t mean you have to get married right away, that it is perfectly possible to pop the question and get married a year or two down the line.

It’s funny how you have things planned in your mind, and they go astray(really astray).

So today it hit me. /gulp. I hit back, twice as hard.

I spent about three quarters of everything I saved up at MicroCenter.

For those that don’t know, MicroCenter is heaven reserved only for the geeky of geeks. So not only is it tough to get into heaven, it’s twice as tough to get into MicroCenter heaven.

So what geekyness did I get today?
Hmmmm …. so that’s easy I upgraded my video card to a 7950GTOC(512, SLI ready), 160gb HD, an extra gig of ram to go along with my 3ghz ht mobo 800mhz fsb.

/drools.

Oh, and lets not forget Bevis and Butthead do America.

I figure while she’s got herself a new guy in her life, I’ve got a kick ass system now.

So besides that, I suppose today has been a pretty sweet day. I really should stop throwing myself these pity parties, and I hope soon enough they will end. Reminds me of a TBS song where he talks about how tired he is of writing every song about her. I feel that way sometimes.

In time I’d imagine. In time ….

But for now my time is up, I need to get busy taking apart my desk/computer and get everything up and running.

So I need you is a song by 3 doors down(better played via the acoustic version IMHO) which reminds me of her every time I play it. She hated it, I loved it. I think that pretty much sums up the relationship doesn’t it?

If you could step into my head,
tell me would you still know me
And if you woke up in my bed,
tell me then would you hold me
Or would you simply let it lie,
leaving me to wonder why
I can’t get you out of this head
that I call mine
And I will say

Oh no I can’t let you go, my little girl
Because you’re holding up my world
So I need you.
Your imitaion of my walk and the perfect way you talk
It’s just a couple of the million things that I love about you

So I need you
So I need you
So I need you
So I need you

And if I jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge,
Tell me would you still follow me
and if I made you mad today,
tell me would you love me tomorrow?
Please. or would you say that you don’t care,
and then leave me standing here
Like the fool who is drowning in despair and screamin’

Oh no I can’t let you go, my little girl
Because you’re holding up my world,
so I need you.
Your imitaion of my walk and the perfect way you talk
It’s just a couple of the million things that I love about you.

So I need you
So I need you
So I need you
So I need you

I’m on my own
I’m on my own
I’m on my own (oh no no no no no yeah yeah)

Oh no I can’t let you go my little girl
Because your holding up my world,
so I need you.
Your imitation of my walk and the perfect way you talk
It’s just a couple of the million things that I love about you.

So I need you
So I need you
So I need you
So I need you, baby yeah

"Learn to love yourself, ’cause if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?" ~ RuPaul.