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"Maybe six feet, ain’t so far down …."
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As life usually goes, it’s a roller coaster. Filled with ups and downs, lefts and rights, loopdy loops … you just have to hope that the operator tied you in tight, try to hold on and wish for the best.
All in all I guess I can’t complain. I know I’m going to be scrutinzed by myself but I figure I need to write it down. I figure I need to at least document it, just so I know exactly what was going through my head at this exact moment in time … perhaps 10 years down the line, and laugh, like I’ve done so many times before in the past.
No matter how far of course I seem to get, somehow I end up right where I need to. I have no idea how or why, and it’s pretty spooky to be truthful. I’m pretty sure I told everybody already about how my boss wanted everybody to start looking for another job. Well … I did. And I think I’m on to something, and if not, oh well .. but at least I’m here. Leading me to smirk at everything that’s led up to this point. Pretty amazing really. I won’t go into it to much, just because I don’t want to jinx it, but in due time I’m sure the truth will be told.
As for me and Stevie, I think that’s why I’m truely on a roller coaster ride. It’s so incredibly hard to tell a truley amazing woman how much you love her in words, becuase no words can really describe. No words can do any justice, and yet I don’t honestly think she feels the same. Normally I have a bad sense of blowing things out of proportion, however … it’s still what I’m thinking, regardless of right or wrong. I know where we went astray(or at least I think I do) but latley things just seem so diffrent between us. Part of me wants to step up and do something, before something is done to me. Its a pretty crappy defense mechanisim, but it’s only that, a defense mechanisim. It’s hard to beileve that we’ve known each other for two years now … two years.
I guess now I just need reassurance from her.
Hopefully I’ll have a bunch of good news to report. I’ll probably blog tommorow truthfully. I’m really sleepy right now for some reason and to add insult to injury … I have to work tommorow. Ugh… but at least I don’t have to do anything, just sit and watch the paint dry.
Peace love and chicken grease.
Until next time …
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