Ever been alone in a crowded room?

What a mess. Not really, it’s really just a tangled web I’ve woven in my head. Sometimes you have to take a step back, observe your surroundings and situations. Then there’s me, where sometimes I have to get a "bang your head here" poster on the wall and have at it.

So I’m out of shape and it’s been spiraling downhill fast since I went on my last bike ride in late September. This summer I really felt good in everything I was doing, but now it seems quite the opposite, so I’ve decieded to hop back on the bike in an indoor setting. We’ll see how that goes.

I’ve been eating alot better the last week or two, also I had to lay off the caffine. Why you ask?

Well it’s been a while … and in that long while alots happened.

Long story short, I had to see a doctor about my "sleeping habits". The symptons are rather bizarre, rare and almost unbeilevable but beileve me, it’s as beilevable as you reading my blog. At night, the nights when I do actually "think" I’m sleeping, I’m tossing turning, and not able to get into any sort of deep sleep. I wake up groggy, tired like I didn’t even sleep. Then … every now and then … it happens. I’ll act out my dreams without even knowing it. I’ll wake up in the midst of doing something stupid, then go back to sleep, only to toss and turn. Rinse and repeat.

About 2 weeks ago, November 9th, I woke up only this time startled to find a burgler in my room, so I ran into the kitchen grabbed a knife, ran back to the bedroom only to wake up …. with a knife in my hand …. thinking to myself how crazy I was. I set the knife down and went back to bed. I told myself as I was going toward the bed, that as soon as my insurnace was setup at work, I’d see a doctor. Well as luck would have it, that’s exactly what happened. When I got into that work this morning, there was my medical card sitting on my desk and the first thing I did before I even logged in was to see a physician.

I don’t think I’ve ever been as scared as I was. Normally this kind of thing in my opinon would have been silly, but after 4 years of these problems, enough was enough. Running with a knife becuase of a burgler? Or how about the time where I woke up a week straight with the same dream as I’m falling off a bridge, and as i’m falling off the bridge my face is firmly implanted into my screen window on the second floor building of my apartment. Another one of my favorites was when I woke up kicking and screaming becuase I was being attacked. I particularly like the one where I had a bike raised over my head waiving it as I had just won a race.

I’m not crazy.

Lets get that straight and narrow right now! In fact, that was the first words out of my mouth as I was speaking to the doc. I thought I’d go in prepared, so that way there was no shock and awe tatics while speaking to the doctor. I found some intresting articles and found that although this happens in less than 1% of people, I wasn’t alone. Tons and tons of sleep disorders, not as extreme as mine, but definetly extreme. I found out also that people eat in their sleep and not know it, not normal everyday food products but sticks of butter, salt/pepper shakers, cat food. Other people act out their dreams such as jumping out of bed to catch a football, so on and so fourth.

Good news that I researched is that it’s treatable. Bad news is it’s treatable with anti-depressants, and also 2/3s of the people that get it, usually get parkinsons diesease later on in life. From what I’ve read and researched, your body drips dopamine while your in deep sleep to paralyze your body so it cannot act out dreams, but in some people it’s not dripping properly.

With all this research in hand, I finally went to the doctor, and he said that I wasn’t crazy(sigh of relief) and that, just as my research had shown, it does happen to other people. Now, he did bring up some good points, usually these types of actions happen to people over 50 years of age or so, usually people with these problems ALREADY have parkinsons and that in my life it’s probably not the case, but something diffrent. My diet, my lifestyle, my bed patterns, and the biggest culprit could be stress. He needed a few minutes to call a few folks, and unfortunatly for me he didn’t close his door so not only could I hear him(he speaks really loud), but everybody in the cubes around me could hear him. The other patients in the rooms around me were probably giggling, probably seeing themselves as lucky they don’t have that problem, and in some cases, some wishing they were me in regards to whatever they were being treated for. I think the thing that stuck out most in my mind was when he said, "Hey Bill! How are things ….. **insert conversation here** … I have a guy here whom I’m not sure if he needs a Psychologist, Neurologist or Sleep doctor. Any ideas …. **insert symptons here**, NO He’s not on anti-depressants and his a pretty young guy too. I know … It’s weird isn’t it!".

Thanks for sharing my weird story with my fellow peers .. doc.

He decieded on a sleep doctor, and so did the psychologist and neurologist after a few more calls later. I sighed. I didn’t want to see a shrink nor did I want to see a head trama doctor. Sleep is exactly what I needed.

Its been a few days, but I was given a referal for a sleep doctor. The office that I will be going to has been in the midst of moving, so they wanted me to call back today. We’ll see though. I’m not sure though.

What I do know, is it’s been about 2 weeks since my last episode, and all this time I’ve eaten A TON better, no caffine period. I started taking my vitimins and Omega 3 fish oil. I’m not so tired in the morning, I’m not cranky and for the last few days I’ve been sleeping great! I still want to see a doctor, I still want to keep doing what I’m doing but most importantly.

I want to get my life back on track.

It seems the last year it’s veered off course. Not in my relationship with stevie or with my family or anything, but my personal health. I think when I was on my bike I was at peace, but when I got off, everything came back.

I think my problem is I do not address serious issues until they are done and gone.

I need to be proactive, but hey, doesn’t everybody?

I’m at work right now, not doing a whole lot. It’s the day before turkey day and I’ve just been reading news.google.com, slashdot.org and also a fun website if you ever get the chance is snapple.com. There is a link called real facts.

It’s pretty entertaining.

Until next time, have a good one and be safe this holiday weekend.

I have (I have) you breathing down my neck (breathing down my neck)
I don’t (don’t know) what you could possibly expect under this condition so
I’ll wait (I’ll wait) for the ambulance to come (ambulance to come)
Pick us up off the floor
What did you possibly expect under this condition so

Slow down.. this night’s a perfect shade of
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I’m here with you
I said the world could be burning down
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I’m here with you
I said the world could be burning ’til there’s nothing but dark blue..
Just dark blue

This flood (this flood) is slowly rising up swallowing the ground
Beneath my feet, Tell me how anybody thinks under this condition so
I’ll swim (I’ll swim) as the water rises up, the sun is sinking down
And now all I can see are the planets in a row
Suggesting it’s best that I slow down

This night’s a perfect shade of
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I’m here with you
I said the world could be burning (burning) down
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I’m here with you
I said the world could be burning dark blue

We were boxing
We were boxing the stars
We were boxing (we were boxing)
You were swinging for Mars
And then the water reached the West Coast
And took the power lines (the power lines)
And it was me and you (this could last forever)
And the whole town under water
There was nothing we could do
It was dark blue

Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I’m here with you
I said the world could be burning (burning) down
Dark blue
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I’m here with you
I said the room could be burning now there’s nothing but dark blue

If you’ve ever been alone in the dark blue
If you’ve ever been alone you’ll know (you’ll know)