It’s a perfect day. Sun is bright, the grass is soft and here we are, just laying underneath a big leafy tree. The birds are chirping as my stomach is churnin. Not from being hungry but from being stuffed due largley in part a nice big meal, perhaps one purchased from Denny’s or my favorite IHOP. Chills pass up and down my arms as I begin to think about the Blizzard I just ate at Dairy Queen. Things couldn’t be going more perfectly.

I then turn over and realise Misses Perfect is sitting laying next to me. 5’8 with blonde hair blue eyes a dreamy smile whom enjoys video games, sports, reading and has a perfect sense of humor about her. A true godsend. A hit and miss relationship, you call me or I call you only when we are lonley. No need to call every night, say I miss you, or the need to cuddle every second of the day. She realises that I’m a busy person and although it may not seem like it, she is my first priority. I keep busy with school work and other hobbies and at times it seems as I’ve pushed her aside. She thinks often if I really do care for her however she quickly dismisses these ideas. She knows I wouldn’t be there if I didn’t care.

It’s been perfect. No commitments, just being together ocassionally. Here and there. No needs to be jealous, we are not together, nor any need to feel paranoid of rejection, again, were not a couple. Just two people who care deeply for each other.

So Perfect.

As I’m laying there, enjoying the fresh air and the sun on my face I feel an ever so soft touch on my hand. I cowar away but it follows. Almost as if it’s hunting me down. I give in. I realise now it’s her hand in mine. I realise now this is the first move made by Miss Perfect towards me. I realise it’s the "NEXT STEP".

All of a sudden my perfect world vanishes. My hands get sweaty making it very unattractive. I panic. I’m going in to shock. The negativity is now overwhelming me! What does this mean? What do I do? I try to regain my composure but it’s futile. I’m thinking, thinking about every such detail that first comes to mind.

And then turn to her and I speak.

This can’t be happening. It’s not suppose to be to be this way I said. I let go of her hand and still, unable to be quiet I keep talking, saying every word that I’m thinking.

"Your going to show you care for me. I’m going to become infactuated with you. Not in love, or even like, just infactuated. We’ll be together for quite some time and it will be great but there will be a day that comes when you feel I don’t care for you. That I value other things more. My job, my school … myself, my future. You’ll soon realise I’m selfish and concided(sp?)". I pull out my digital camera and start clicking away taking photos. She asks me what I am doing and I simply reply "Taking photos, taking many pictures. In 7 months time when you realise all of this, the real person I am you’ll leave me as quickly as you can and these photos, these pictures of us is all I will have left." I scare her off … Taking photos as she leaves, crying never to be seen again nor ever heard from again.

What have I done? It was a simple hand in hand encounter. What have I done? What have I done.

All of a sudden things start to spin, I feel as if I’m in the twilight zone. What’s happening to me? Things were so perfect and now they are spiraling out of control. What have I done?

It stops. Everything is perfectly still. I’m a little groggy but ok. I look down and I’m only wearing a pair of boxers. What is going on here I ask myself. My fists clinched along with my toes, I’m gripping as hard as I can. Squeezing an unknown, something incredibly soft. I turn left, I turn right, only to feel something incredibly soft and a little damp. My fists unclench and I put my hand over my heart as it’s beating wildly. I’m completly soaked in what seems to be sweat. I look up. I look around … my eyes are cloudy and I can make out a human figure. It’s so bright. I feel almost blind now. The chirping has morphed into a low annoying beeping. "It’s ok kc, it’s ok … it’s time to wake up bud" is all I can hear.

I quickly gain my composure and realise that I’m in bed. My sheets are completly soaked with sweat. My knuckles are white from squeezing so hard. My face is hot becuase my blinds were open. The buzzing was my alarm clock and it’s time to start my day.

This actually happened to me and I thought it would be something I would share.

I don’t dream a whole lot. I have nothing left to dream for …

kc

Ok, so first off I must apologise for not updating like I normally do and of course the lack of updates in the near future. Things have been INCREDIBLY hectic around here. On top of working and going to school way to much, I’ve got homework and that whole kit and kabudal. Also where you got this page will no longer be here anymore. I’ve been working very hard on a new layout in my spare time and I think I got it down to what I want-crosses fingers-. So I got a .com and you can view this website at www.ozweegoville.com. That is in a week or so! I already registered it I just need to upload it and be done. I’m pretty stoked.

my own .com -tear-

Take care all,
kc

"You can call me anytime you’d like, doesn’t matter day or night …" So anywho .. listening to some random beats off of Launch.Yahoo.com. I like this song. I like the original guy who had it originally but oh well, it’s a good song none the less.

So .. Signed up for that www.hotornot.com jobbie. I don’t know if this is going to be a let down or an ego boost. HA! Who knows … we’ll just have to see.

http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=OLHUSLK&key=VHC

That’s where I’m at. Vote. Ok, so females only Anywho .. it says I’m an 8 which is nice because it states I’m 77% hotter then the other males on the website which means 3 out of 4 guys. Lol, ok .. whatever. Sure thing boss.

So today has been a complete waste of a day off. Why you ask? Mandatory overtime. Yuck. These are two words that shouldn’t even be put in the same sentence. Tommorow however I will be working on a new ozweegoville. We’ll see how it goes.

-sighs- I’m so tired … I should probably get going now. I just thought I’d keep the ole fanclub intrested. I’m losing fans everyday actually. I can’t beileve how many people just read my journal "while they were here" so to speak. I need to get back in the circle of my open source. Oh well .. we’ll see how it goes.

Take care all,
kc

I love them. That place is uber cool. They got new orange type cups that on the back read:
"Okay, so here you are at Panda. Did you order Orange Flavored Chicken again? I mean, who could blame you? It’s sweet. Tangy. One might say irresistible, even. You can branch out another time, or the time after that.

Orange Flavored Chicken, a Panda Express original."

That was staring me in the face as I’m scarfing down some of that awesome chicken. I love it. The fortune cookies.. yea, I like those too.

So JLo is getting married, President Reagan dies, 250,000 jobs open up alone in the month of may, Gas prices still are rising, It’s stinking hot outside, I have to work today. That’s what’s going on in the world today. Crazy stuff.

Pushing all the politics aside, I’m getting excited to vote for presidancy. Hehe, ok, not pushing them aside. I think I’m going for the usual democratic point of view this time around. Clinton beileve it or not in my eyes was probably the greatest president the UNITED STATES ever had. It shows that the USA is made up of humans and mistakes happen. Our economy was second to none and on top of that he made stuff happen. He had a plan, more importantly he had a backup plan for everthing. Bush sent over thousands of our men and had no backup plan. Obviously I can go for hours on this but I’ll spare my fanclub the details.

As for my move. I’m stoked about that too. I know we are moving becuase we were approved for our apartment!! More on this later I promise. It’s an incredibly nice apartment, super close to work, chik-fil-a, target and of course panda express. Also it’s about 5 minutes from work. It’s incredibly nice, awesome pool, hot tub, pool room, media room with a projector style movie room. It’s got about 12 seats that are arranged just like a movie theatre going from low to high, this thing is super shibby, and more importantly it reminds me of home. Well the media room does. More importantly, we are kicking a roomate out, again more on this later. It’s going to be 3 bedrooms for 4 guys and it’s going to be the same price as what we’re paying and alot nicer. Oh, and it’s got 1 more bedroom for the same price. Can it get anybetter then this? I submit this under it cannot!

So all around I’m stoked, I wonder how this is all going to pan out. Relationships, work, life and all. I can’t wait. It’s a curvy road that I can’t see past but that’s cool with me.

Anywho .. gotta go to work for now. LaterZ

kc

So I suppose I’m playing catch up with my journal. Today overall was pretty good. I didn’t do a whole lot. I went to my Algorithm’s class and also my math class. I realised that I’m a tad bit behind, definetly not as far behind as I once thought. I didn’t realise how easy my next two chapters would be so it’s going to go by pretty easily.

BTW, have I mentioned before how good this Glade Strawberries and Cream! Yummy!

Anywho …

I’m tired. Not because it’s been a long day but I’ve been literally laughing so hard. I watched Robin Williams live today and his skit he does on golf and animals and everything is so halarious! I loved it … every second. My abs are so hurting right now I laughed so much. I don’t remember laughing so hard before ever in the past.

So I think I’m going to go to bed now. Ok ok, so it’s not my most intresting post but I have other things I need to do. One thing though before I leave, today I had to drive about 30 minutes one way to drop my roomate off at his car because he left his keys in his car. So to make a long story short we drove and drove and drove. On the way back I popped in my 3 Doors Down CD. So many fantastic memories. So many horrible memories. So mixed … but nothing feels better to me no matter how bad it hurts is to be driving, windows rolled down, sunroof open and this song blaring on my stereo. This is what symoblizes me and Betsie 110%. So sit back and enjoy like I always do …

If you could step into my head,
tell me would you still know me
If you woke up in my bed,
tell me then would you hold me
Or would you simply let it lie,
leaving me to wonder why
I can’t get you out of this head
I call mine
And I will say

Oh no I can’t let you go, my little girl
Because you’re holding up my world
So I need you.
Your imitaion of my walk and the perfect way you talk
It’s just a couple of the million things that I love about you

So I need you
So I need you
So I need you
So I need you

And if I jumped of the Brooklyn Bridge,
Tell me would you still follow me
and if I made you mad today,
tell me would you love me tomorrow?
Please. or would you say that you don’t care,
and then leave me standing here
Like the fool who is drowning in despair and screamin’

Oh no I can’t let you go, my little girl
Because you’re holding up my world,
so I need you.
Your imitaion of my walk and the perfect way you talk
It’s just a couple of the million things that I love about you.

So I need you
So I need you
So I need you
So I need you

I’m on my own
I’m on my own
I’m on my own

Oh no I can’t let you go my little girl
Because your holding up my world,
so I need you.
Your imitation of my walk and the perfect way you talk
It’s just a couple of the million things that I love about you.

So I need you
So I need you
So I need you
So I need you