So you gotta have friends. That’s my motto. And thank god for them too! I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have ‘em. So it started at lunch time. I usually am the one to drive but not today. We were in a rush so we took my buddy’s Adam’s car. I had my keys and I put them down, went to eat and later forgot about them when I exited the car. This rendered me keyless. Snagged a ride home and got my roomate to give me a ride back. Grab my betsie girl and went home.

I went home with betsie … it was a good night. We later played some Aliven vs Predator II and looked at computers online. As I’ve told my fanclub latley I’m actually putting together my dream machine. So far I’ve got my motherboard, processor, hard drive, bay drives, case, ram. My stats appear like this:

512mb of ram
120GB harddrive
Soyo k7vme motherbard
2500+ amd XP processor

It would appear that the only thing I need left is my 9800pro graphics card and of course my 21inch monitor. But you’d be wrong. I’ve saved so much money that I will probably end up getting an executive chair. You know, the type that appear much larger then necessary. All of this for less then 750$ This of course has been about 5 months in the works if I recall. Wether it be saving, researching or price shopping. So … 750$ so far and I thought. Wow, look at what I’ve got. I went to dell and made my computer, same graphics, hd, ram etc … 2,413$ Don’t beileve me? look here:

http://configure.us.dell.com/dellstore/config.aspx?c=us&cs=19&l=en&oc=XPS&s=dhs

Select all the components I’ve listed above and whola! Yea, I’m stoked. I just saved myself 1,700 + experience and the fun of this entire experience. Hopefully soon I’ll be getting my video card and monitor. Only two things I have left to purchase to meet my quota. I don’t even need them right now though. I have a cheesy monitor and my motherboard has onboard graphics. SHIBBY! I think I will put it together as of Tuesday. But we’ll just have to see! Well … I’m not quite sure what to put next ..

I don’t know, I suppose I just wanted to write. I feel a sense of fuzzy glee inside of me just thinking about all of this, how all of this has panned how and how things are shaping up. Couldn’t ask for much more. Obviously I can .. BUT .. you know. I’m not complaining

thanks all yet again for reading, my numbers here are growing, too bad nobody else writes in his/her journals!

take care all,
kc

You don’t have to go home … but you can’t stay .. I know who I want to take me home. I know who I want to take me home, take me home … take me home … every new beginning comes from other new beginnings end …

This is the last song they played after cosmic bowling at like 3 in the morning. Yes, we’ve been bowling. We do some sort of activity then go out to eat. Well .. at least trying. Pool, bowling, movies etc .. anything social we can do. Me and my roomates and some other friends. Huge groups. It’s alot of fun. Diner of choice would have to be ihop on 120th and sheridan. We go there all the time. So this song was pretty fitting .. I liked it. I forgot how much I liked it. Good song. Anywho .. the only reason I bring up the whole bowling thing is that when your in large groups you tend to attract alot of people. It’s pretty interesting the people you’ll meet. We met these ladies and guys that had some serious hard core New Yorker accents … lol .. and we had him saying all kinds of funny things. My favorite saying that he spoke was "I schwear to gad" lol … I swear to god. It was halarious. I can’t stop saying that though. I schwear to gad. LOL. I’m cracking myself up. I suppose it doesn’t help that I’ve gotten into a new habbit now I think. Coffee. 3 creamers, 3 bags of sugar. I don’t drink it every day nor do I even request it but it is good. I like it and of course it keeps you wired for hours. Sad thing is your not suppose to drink it at 1 in the morning. It’s now 3 and I’m still cranking out spastic remarks and actions.

So bowling … we did that yesterday and the day before. Two days in a row. Not a good thing … why? Well let me explain. I go get my check, becuase of course today is payday! does happy dance .. anywho .. get my paycheck and I debate on getting a bite to eat. I deciede against it but I do deciede to do something I havn’t done in a while. Get a frappacino 711 style, 2 slim jims to fill my appettite(sp?) before heading off to work. I picked up all my groceries with my left hand(subconsiously) and put it into my little basket thingie, and emptied it with my left hand as well. Left hand and right hand is definetly important. Anywho .. she rings me up, gives me my items and I subconsiously take them with my right hand. Big Mistake. I realise that I cannot open up my right hand big enough to actually grip the liter of diet coke and of course I dropped it. I couldn’t squeeze the stupid thing my hand hurt so bad! I couldn’t open up my hand either! I was really surprised too! It didnt even hurt with normal operations but as soon as you try to clinch on to something or even make it bigger then it was almost impossible! As the day pressed on it all seemed to work itself out. I can no open my hand after many hand excersices, my forarm is so incredibly sore and my thumb is rubbed raw. I suppose 10 hours of bowling until the wee hours of the morning will do that to you.

I did good actually. My highscore was a 148. The best and of course along with the best came numerous bragging rights. It was funny too … it was so packed the bowling ball selection was limited. I used a pink bowling cosmo ball. It was halarious. I suppose it was the intimidation factor that made me win! Skinny white guy with weird blacklight glowing teeth/shoelaces topped off with a pink neon bowling ball It was a blast. I can honestly say that single life is so incredibly fun and refreshing for once. I no longer dwell on singleness but almost embrace it. Obviously it’ll wear off but it’s a good thing right now.

As the days pass on though everything gets easier to deal with. Me and the "gang" had a discussion today. Not even quite sure how we got on it but we started talking about relationship and the cloud nine feeling. I’ve thought so long and hard as to when I ever felt the cloud nine feeling and I can honestly say there was only once or twice. I was happy no doubt .. but I was excitedly happy like I’ve been with past imaginative loves that I’ve had. We got to talking more and it made me realise the reason why. My previous relationships where I felt on cloud 9, not only did I feel I was totally out of their class, but also I saught them out. With me and jo it was the other way around I think. That’s why I wasn’t so happy as to what my potential would allow. In fact .. what made me really open my eyes is my roomate jess actually told me whe we went to cici’s one day that he remembers me saying that me and jo didn’t have any long term potential. I remember that now but I don’t think I ever thought twice about it. Obviously he told me he did .. just because he never gets in a relationship about thinking about the future .. marriage kids etc .. When he heard me say that, he said it really struck a chord with him and he says that he’s glad she broke it off, had it not been for her, it would have been for me. Which to a degree is true. I’m not doubting for a second that I was never unhappy with jo, in fact I was pretty happy to say the least. I’m just not as a clingy person as I thought I was. I need my space, I need to be able to hang out with my friends without feeling guilty, I need to be able to go day or even a week without calling my signifigant other. That’s why I figure daiting is good. Hey would you mind catching a bite to eat with my tonight? Ok .. I’ll talk to you in a couple of weeks and perhaps we can do something then? ok great ..

I need something like that … but anywho. Thank god for this journal. yet again it has done it’s job. Not even caffine keep me awake now… I’m slowly starting to pass away into oblivious ….

goodnight all,
kc

So yesterday I used reclusive and reflective as my subject however I didn’t even write anything about it oddly enough. Odd you ask? Yes I said odd … the reason being is because it was on my mind the entire day, obviously not when I was typing. Perhaps it was due in part I was so tired. So tonight here I am again … writing/typing. Reflective is my personality type.

Controls emotional expression. The Reflective tends to curb emotional expression and is less likely to display warmth openly. Displays a preference for orderliness. Enjoys a highly structured enviroment and generally feels frustration when confronted with unexpected events. Tends to express measured opinions. Usually does not express dramatic opinions. Disciplined, businesslike actions describe the Reflective. Seems difficult to get to know. Tends to be somewhat formal in social relationships and therefore is viewed as aloof by many people

That about sums it up. Difficult to get to know. Tends to be somewhat formal in a social relationship. Example scientific. Oh brother ….

So your asking yourself, how did I come up with such a result and where did I even here of this "test" so to speak? Well I’m definetly into these personality tests and in my Human Relations class we had to take about 4 diffrent tests to get an accurate measurement of ours, also we had to have 3 of our best friends take these tests FOR ME and see what they put for me. Each was given 3 diffrent types. Social, work and school. So if we do the math I had 3 of my best friends take a week to fill out this paperwork, 4 tests performed by myself all analyzed by my teacher. Reflective. Yea .. that’s me. Reclusive. Another word put on to me. So let me explain. Out of a class of about 30, most were put in an emotive group. Me and 2 others were reflective. I dont’ know why but it made me just swallow my pride for a minute or two probably, your asking yourself why, well give me a second or two to finish. I dug up some studies shown on the internet that shows that most people usually average a + or – 5 away from 0 basically meaning the closer to zero the better.(it’s somewhat complicated but just go with me on this.) Positive or negative doesn’t matter just the number. I was a 13. Meaning that I have an extreme case of the reflective personality. Usually people that are closer to zero on a scale of 1 to 15 indicates they can easily be in any catagory, which is good becuase that means they can adapt to surrounding situations as well as have a mix of personality types. Me on the other hand. Not so flexiable. My teacher said she already knew but didn’t know the figures that I got back were how they were. It’s pretty crazy I suppose. I’ve been thinking alot about everything I do and how I interact with other people and I figure that’s probably where I need to work on.

So yea .. .hopefully fanclub I can find this test online. It’s quite a few questions but hey, I had to do it for school so it’s worth the wait I suppose. Hopefully soon …

Well I’m off to go buy a hard drive online … wish me luck :S

kc