Evil … it’s on everybody’s mind, so lets talk about it. Ok, Evil, evil is takes it’s greatest form as snow. Yes, beileve it or not snow. Why you ask? We have stinking snow in DENVER COLORADO in the middle of MAY!!! I don’t beileve this. I must be going insane. I must be …. Why did I even move the perfect climate of new mexico for snow? That still boggles me… God I hate snow. It should be dissapearing soon though. Just the other day they were cleaning out the pool to get it ready to open soon… not now… not now that it’s filled with 3+ inches of snow. Geez, I hate snow.

Anyways…

Not alot has happened to me as of latley. Probably the biggest thing is that has happened was I filled out my paperwork to go part time plus– not just part time, part time plus. I sort of have it figured out. The main reason I want to go to part time is not becuase I hate my job, sortof, but becuase I don’t get enough sleep on the school nights. Not enough time to do all of the homework that is required of me without cutting into my sleep schedule, which is slim to none on school nights. See I get off at about midnight, walk through my appartment door at 12:30 and then I get online, check email .. yada yada … relax, eat brush my teeth shower, ect … so I dont’ get into bed by 1:30 2:00 and then I have to get up for a 7 or 8 oclock class. It stinks, I get so tired of it. Sleeping all day on my days off and on the weekends. Grrr … I hate that. I hate my job, but I only have to do it for a few more months and it’ll be all done and over with. I can live with that. Lack of sleep, I can’t deal with that. Anyways, here is my -PLAN-

Hey fanclub,
Sorry it has been a few days since my last posting, things have been ….. hectic. I went to the doctor, got additional medication, so now I’m on 3 antibiotics. I feel alot better right now. My voice is probably 90% back, so last night I went to work, came home early. Partly becuase I wanted to. I was kind of tired but no big deal, I think I can manage my full 8 hours today. Especially last night’s sleep I got. I came home, my roomate was on the phone, so I crawled into my bed, wrapped a warm blanket and -POOF- I was out like a light. All the way up until I had to go to school this morning. I feel really good right now… especially becuase I didn’t take my medication last night. I know I know… but I fell asleep! Sleep is good medication too!

Anyways, I got my days off of work approved, which means that I will be going home to see my family at the end of the month, in about two and a half weeks actually … if that. I’m pretty excited. I can’t wait to see my parents, and my dogs. Supposidly I"ll be spending some time with that certain someone. I’m pretty happy about that. I’ll actually get to see her, body language is key. I can read body language pretty good. It’s alot diffrent then just typing over a messenger client. Then I’ll know if she is serious or not. I suppose I am still a little hesitant about all of this. Things right now are 180 degrees diffrent now then they were once before, but still. I’m still weary of my heart. I’m still mending old wounds. You have no idea, I want to work, and the last thing I need right now is a repeat heartbreak. If this all does lead to heardache, I need more time. Lie to me. Lead me on. If so, give me time, that’s all I ask. I’d rather not be lied to or lead around, but I dont know what I’d do if things turn sour so soon. I’m afraid I suppose, but I beileve I’m well within my reasons.

Well, thinking positive, I told my supivisor I wish to go part time. He said not a problem, and he said he doesn’t think the manager will have a problem either. I suppose I’m a key asset to the companey. I’d like to think I’m a key asset period, but a key asset for the companey will suffice. We’ll see. Last night driving home just before the sun settled, actually seeing the mountains, being able to come home relax, and still go to bed early, do the things I want to do. Awesome. It left me in awe. I need that so bad. My whole epidemic of feeling like crap, taking off work, I realised how much I was missing out on. I need to go … hopefully it will only be a week or so until I get that chance …

Adios Fanclub,
Mayor of OzweegoVille

Hey fanclub,
Well, sorry I havn’t written for a day or so. I’ve been pre-occupied. anyways, I was sicker than a dog still. Come to find out today the doctor that I went to said the other medication wasn’t doing the trick, so i’m like yippie! that’s great! Anyways, I’m going to try and get some bueaty sleep tonight … and that way I can talk better. Good news though! I can talk today! Im excited. Well, maybe not … that means I have to go back to work :S Hehe, tommorow though I will find out what exactly I can do about part time. Things have been going well for me, so I’m hoping that my luck will poor over into work and my relationship.

So many things are diffrent between us it’s unbeilevable. Complete opposites. Oh well .. I don’t feel like dwelling on the negative… if I were to sit here and type the positive, I could be here a while. I suppose I could be wrong about all of this. Come december, my journal entries may prove me wrong, I know I can go back in time through my entries, but why not foward? it’s such a shame. Oh well … I’ll just have to play it by year, and keep my heart in the protective covering that it’s in right now, careful not to let anybody borrow it anymore. I won’t make that mistake again, unless I’m for sure. It may seem like I already have, but trust me, it’s not. Like I said previously, I don’t want to get hurt again. That is my biggest fear. Betsie holds the key to my heart, and I’m sure she’ll be rigid with the one in which she chooses to give it to. I know my bets would do that for me.

I need to go, hopefully this medicine will kick in -crosses fingers-
Adios,
Mayor of OzweegoVille

Hey fanclub,
Well, I apologize for not writing yesterday. I literally slept all day yesterday. I think I’m on the road to recovery. –I think– Let me start off about a week ago. Starting on tuesday I had a ham and cheese sandwich from subway. The next thing I know is I can’t even move! I call into work, and sleep the rest of that day, the next day, I wake up, I felt a little nausious and the rest of the day I could talk, I could walk and I didn’t feel bad or anything, so the next day I go to work. I am at work, and by eight oclock I lose my voice. I still felt fine, but I lost it. I go home, go to sleep and the next thing I know is I found myself mysteriously at safeway desperiatly trying to find some pain killers. The next thing I know I am at home and I am asleep, I wake up nausious and throwing up blood, it was horrible. Both of my ears feel as if they are about to explode with each heartbeat and breathe I took! I called my parents, I wouldn’t be surprised if I was crying or not due to the pain, but I called them, my dad said "BE A MAN!!" LMAO, haha, no he didn’t say that. He said go someplace that accepts my insurance. So I’m at the emergancy room, I pretty much crawled into the receptionist area, filled out about an hour’s worth of paperwork, they put this stupid band around my arm, anybody that knows me I ABSOLUTLY HATE those bands, anyways…. I’m sitting in the receptionist area, in the emergancy room mind you, I look at my watch and it’s seven oclock, Now wether or not I passed out from the pain or the exhuastion, I’m just there … I find myself being wheeled by those rolly beds into one of the rooms. The doctor looks at me, and said, "boy you don’t look so good". I couldn’t talk mind you, and yet the doctor wanted to know all of my previous major illnesses. I debated wether or not I was in the mood to tell him I had cancer, but I didn’t feel like him giving me a drug that would provoke another bout with cancer. He looked at me and pretty much told me I’d been through hell. LOL, and that’s when I knew I was dead! Anyways, I had to take off my shirt, did A few standard breathing tests, I sat there for another hour and he finally came back to give me my prescription, except for the fact that the stupid hospital doesn’t, I REPEAT, does not have a pharmacy. What kind of hospital is this? Grrrr. I hate hospitals. Anyways, I have to drive down the road to a walgreens pharmacy. I then had to wait another hour, becuase the gentleman that was there did not know how to process my insurance. So I had to wait until this other ladies shift started, either that or pay 100 bucks for medication. I was like….errr…no thanks. I’ll pass out here ah thank you. So I slept, the woman came, got my insurance processed, I paid and was on my way. Came home. Slept All day. It was horrible. With TWO ear infections, I had to sleep on my back. I like to sleep on my stomach. It’s habit. So I didn’t get any sleep, and my ears are oozing. YUMMY ! Ok, probably not something you wanted to hear but it was horrible. Both ears, ready to explode… my stomach was like a volcano ready to erupt, and my head was as if somebody strapped C4 and was about to light the wire. To add cream to the cake, another bad gene of mine is to sleep with my mouth open, making it easier to breathe, also making it very easy to get what we call cotton mouth. Lol, every five seconds I have to gulp down some water, or suck on a hard piece of candy. Boy this stinks. I hate being sick. I hate being immobile. I hate being a wuss(sp?) I suppose in the long run I like it. It gives me something to look forward to, getting better.

I’m trying my hardest to find the positive in this, and I did find something that made this positive

If I ever pass out and find myself somewhere I don’t remember going, like me going to safeway and the emergancy room, at least this time people will know my name and help me find my mommy!

Current Status:
Right now I’m kind of tired, but not really, It’s hard to explain. I definetly won’t be going to work today nor will I be running a marathon anytime soon. In fact I need to start eating, I’ve lost about five pounds already … :S …. anyways, My ears are back to good, they arn’t clear yet, but they don’t hurt either. The only thing is I can’t burp or anything becuase it makes them ring, and a ringing ear is not good! As for as nausious I’m ok there too I think. I don’t know I havn’t eaten anything in a while, i’m sure today I will at least try.

Well that’s it fanclub, see … nothing to eventful has happened to me -wink wink- hehe….

Adios…
Mayor of OzweegoVille

Hey fanclub,
I don’t know, I suppose these last four days off for me have been great, and refresing. I took my regular two days off and plus an additional two. One of those day was pure hell. But what day of my life doesn’t hint of hell? I dont’ know … I defeintly feel re-energized, but I don’t know how long it will last for. Anyways, Seeing as today is the second, I find out in a few days if I can go to part time. That would be fine if they dropped my pay I figured. I found out yesterday from a good friend that if I tutor, I can tutor like 15 hours a week which neither would pay excellent, but it would pay my bills, everything would be on my terms at the time of my choosing. I would be home rather early everynight. I figure if I do that, then maybe I would have my curfew everynight at 10:30. I dont know, surly things could go my way for once! As usual my mind is full of doubt. What will I do if they don’t let me go part time? I have no idea. I suppose I’m praying for a miracle this time. As for other things on my mind, I won’t mention. Not becuase I’m afraid of who reads them, but how I need to get them organized. I’m so confused.

kc