That is a song taken from hootie and the blowfish. I love that group. I own all of their cd’s and for some reason, in some way shape or form, each of their songs is an exact replica of my life. Mostly sad and tragic, but oh well. I realise I’m only eighteen, I have a nice car, nice apartment, food on my plate and a ton of cool people around me. On the other hand I have a mass sense of depervation to the outside world, a crappy, I’d use another word but I decided to keep it clean, a crappy job and a major case of insomnia. I don’t know if I can hold out much longer with this schedule, I am so sleep deprived. Right now I feel as if I can just tip over and zonk right out. Not a care in the world, if I said that I’d be lieing. I’ve always got cares, I am to much an over achiever, I feel I try to take on to many obsticles at once and in doing so drain my strength, both physically and emotionally, and whatever I had left spiritually. To make matters worse, each obstical I face I know I will lose, but it’s the chiwawa instincts inside of me that tries to venture out and do something. I suppose that in doing so, I am hoping that I will succeed in just one, making it seem as if I’ve accomplished alot. I suppose I’m tired and in need of someone or something to vent to, in which making this journal serving it’s purpose.

Today when reading a friends journal entrie :: frol.diaryland.com, Hi Frol! Anyways, she talked about life’s cruel ironies. She wants a child so bad. I guess her brother is going to have twins, twins and all she wants is one. Anyways… the reason why I bring that up is becuase of the irony that I encountered in my journal entry 5.8.2002 #33, I quote myself "Well, yesterday I had an email typed out to somebody special, why didn’t I send it? Probabley becuase it would have been chatastrophic(sp?). Ok, far less worse than that but still. I wish she only knew what I felt.. she means alot to me…but on the same hand Im glad she doesnt" HA, yea, I should have listened to myself. If only I listened o my brain and the logical choices in life, then this silly thing they call a heart, I would be so much better off right now. I know god is laughing at me, mocking me in his own little way, probably thinking, "How do you like those apples!" yea yea yea… whatever. I will endure. Somehow. Frol wants a child, I want my life back, I wish it was normal, so much change in the past 6 months, from loosing a ton of weight, moving out on my own, working a ton and going to school, and the trials and tribulations of life. Today is just another day and tommorow hasn’t even beeen concieved yet. Martin lawrence once said, ride it [life] until the wheels fal off, good motto I suppose. I’ll leave my lengthy, silly venting entry at that…

Adios,
~Mayor of OzweegoVille~

What’d I do today?! Not a whole lot, I washed my car, did some running around and what not, so that was cool.. worked on a new layout and what not. I suppose I feel really good and really relieved, I don’t have to ever worry about specific people. Not that she even cares anyways, but I am trying my hardest. Obviously I’m not going to forget every perfect aspect of her, but she is cocky as all hell now. I’m not exactly sure why. She says that I’m immature and a jerk, moreless the bad guy, but I suppose that will happen to a guy when he gets crushed like a coachroach in the kitchen. I’ll admit, i’m not myself, but with her, I don’t care to be.

No matter.. don’t worry be happy now… I will be soon asking a friend at work to go out one night. I’m sure she’ll accept. She wanted to go out a while ago, but due to other people I declined. Maybe she’ll refuse me, that’s ok, I would refuse me too. I’m not as good looking or as charming as the other’s, but I’d never hurt anybody. I listened to dave attel today, "I saw a woman at the bar, she was pretty, so I sat next to her, then I saw she had a black eye, and I thought, oh great, she doesn’t listen"… it cracked me up. I’d never do that, but I see the humor in it. I don’t know, I suppose I will wait… wait and see… well… today was a good day, I got a few monkeys off my back. well laterZ

adios,
~Mayor of OzweegoVille~