Yes, that has caused me to overload my hotmail account. Over 300 messages becuase It was in what we call a snoopy loop. An infinate loop, an overabundance of my journal entries ….AnywaysAs for my website, I actually like it. It’s nice and peppy. I suppose things are going peppy. As for work, Im not sure when or if I’ll ever go part time. I hope so. It would be so nice to get out of work at eight oclock each night. Who knows.. I’m going to have to wait and see. Surprisingly my relationship with the person that holds the pieces of my broken heart is going well. She’s obviously still has her heart captivated by somebody else .. but that’s ok, I suppose in time she will hopefully realise her worth to me. Nothing hurts worse then to have her tell me she feels worthless. I suppose I am being selfish, but it makes me realise everything I …

Hey Fanclub,Yes, that has caused me to overload my hotmail account. Over 300 messages becuase It was in what we call a snoopy loop. An infinate loop, an overabundance of my journal entries ….AnywaysAs for my website, I actually like it. It’s nice and peppy. I suppose things are going peppy. As for work, Im not sure when or if I’ll ever go part time. I hope so. It would be so nice to get out of work at eight oclock each night. Who knows.. I’m going to have to wait and see. Surprisingly my relationship with the person that holds the pieces of my broken heart is going well. She’s obviously still has her heart captivated by somebody else .. but that’s ok, I suppose in time she will hopefully realise her worth to me. Nothing hurts worse then to have her tell me she feels worthless. I suppose I am being selfish, but it makes me realise everything …

Hey fanclub,Today was excellent, I did alot of running around, worked on the new website a bit and also chatted a bunch. Lol, I was going to wash and wax my car today but when I began it started to rain! I couldn’t beileve it. I finally went out and bought a chip stick! I’m so proud of myself. It’s been about 4 months I swear! I can’t beileve I even put betsie last. I’m pretty ashamed, but I’m here now — super hero music plays — and tommorow she’ll be perfect again like she once was and always will be.Let see… I’d write more about my emotions, but I feel I ought to keep them inside. I know I know… I just had a speil about that.. but with my new website color should come a new outlook on things. Things need to stay positive. My thoughts and emotions right are actually good, positive thoughts, but I would regret …

Hey fanclub,It was brought to my attention here recently that maybe due to certain people I censer (sp?) my journal entries becuase he/she may be reading them. At first I found this idea proposterous(sp? again) becuase usually my journal entries are me half asleep, typing whatever comes to mind. What I didn’t realise is that my right side of my brain in which holds all intellectual pieces of information about myself has a lock on it. somewhat hidden from the world. Pieces of information kept hidden to myself and for nobody else to know, but me. Maybe that’s so.. maybe I don’t… I got to thinking that maybe I would unlock certain pieces of this puzzle and relate them in my enteries. It would be nobody’s fault if they found these pieces of information except for of course the people that continued reading it. If the information they gathered through these journal entries at all related to them, they would …

Hey,Coy, I’ve read your journal. Im sure we agree on some things, but not a whole lot. Especially on the relationship part. I didn’t say I ever wanted one (maybe I did, but I didn’t mean it) just not right now." Do I want to find miss right? I sure do.. but I don’t want to go out of my way and make my life more miserable getting my heart squashed as if it were a cochroach in the kitchen. It’s just not worth it. But on the other hand I want somebody to share my life and expeirences with. I mean I beileve that I am a smart, funny, fun loving, good natured kind of a guy. One who loves to talk and to hold up a conversation. But yet, sit me next to a smart, attractive women, one in which I might have a shot in hell with, and have a conversation with. My brain turns to crap, …

My day is coming. Today at work, well.. it was work. I have a crappy job. We all have. whatever. yOu have to do it. Mine will only be for a little longer hopefully. On may 4th I will be applying for part time. I can’t wait. How cool would it be going to bed at like 10 every night! How cool would it be to be bored? How cool would it be to have a surplus of sleep? Well, I may bite my words but I think I am going ot enjoy this. I need this too. I’ve missed out on so much. I need to sit back and let this college life hit me!As for my old infactuation, the one in which bears the fake blood of my broken heart, the one in which I thought was angelic but brought me to the depths I never thought possible. Ok i’m done. I’m not sure exactly what to think …

I suppose if there ever is a day that you have just a plan, today is that day. I finally got my work/financial situation all figured out. Beginning on May 4th, I’m hoping that life is going to be good. I’m hoping to drop down to part time at echostar, and then on top of that, I am hoping to maybe pick up a stupid little side job. It had me drooling to think that I could start getting off of work at 8 oclock, instead of midnight. An option that I like tremendously. That means that I can come home, relax, and go to bed all before ten oclock. A bed time of ten oclock is going to see a little unbeileveable(sp?) but I suppose I deserve it. I am getting burned out. Working and going to school about 3 times more than I sleep. 5 to 6 hours of sleep every night just is not cool. With my …

Howdy all,Well today was decent. I did my usual running around, the washing of betsie, and the midnight washing of my laundry. I should be in bed right now but I can’t sleep.. as usual. No surprise there. I’m going to be dog tired in the morning for my eight oclock class, but hey,sue me.Today I read through alot of my journal entries. It’s good to do that from time to time, even if it means opening up old wounds, drenching it with salt and then having lemon sprinkled over the top. It’s a good feeling, don’t trust me? Well you should… It’s horrible. I can’t believe what I wrote in one of my October journal entries. I mean, that is exactly what I was feeling, but I didn’t realise what I was typing I suppose. It was true, all of it. "My goals wern’t to grow up and be rich, it was to have her in my life." Obviously …

If you could only read my song, originally I could not find this song for the life of me! I heard the lyrics on a movie and loved the beat, so I found out that it was a song called "read my mind" by some group named the wave, do a lyric search on it, it’s got great lyrics. Anyways, I could not find that song on ANY peer to peer host so I decided to watch that part of the movie and did another search, sure enough, –POOF– it wasn’t the wave at all, it was offspring! I downloaded it and loved it! The offspring are great! They are one of those bands in which are probably totally underated, so I downloaded all of there songs. EXCELLENT GROUP. "Want you bad" Download it, buy it do whatever, great song.Well it’s about 4:40 in the morning, so i’m kind of tired so i’m not sure what else to say. I …

How am I doing? Excellent. I must say… Why you ask? Amany monkeys off my back, and my year anniversary(sp?) with betsie. It’s hard to beileve how quickly this past year has flown by. I suppose that is what happens when your busier than all hell. But anyways… this weekend, to commemerate(sp?) the anniversary(sp?) I am going to spend double the usual time it takes to wash wax and clean the interior. Then head off and get some ice cream and more than likely travel to what they call "red rocks" it’s a place in the middle of nowhere in which there is a bueatiful river and a creek that runs through the valley. Last time I went there I had a nightmare that the cliff I parked next too, I forgot to put my e-brake on and betsie ran down the hill… yea Iknow.. scary eh? Anyways, you can be assured that when I awoke from that hellish nightmare, …