Well, with all that has transpired over the last few days, overall I’m fairly happy. I suppose with my last journal entry I didn’t think at all.. I apologize. Anyways, no matter(beileve me, it’s eating me alive) but I’ve realised the truth and was is to be. I’ve been doing everything to keep my mind busy, making the time go by as fast as possible, trying to limit my thinking patterns. Mainly watching movies, working, reading and listening to music. I thank my hated god for music. Only thing that keeps my brain ticking, and my heart beating.
I also realise there is a god. Just not one in I want to cheer or applaud. Right now he sits, and mocks me. Everybody told me that my life’s plan was to have cancer. That’s bogus. Among many other things. One thing is for sure though, I’m going home tommorow.
It’s very much needed, I spoke with my dogs over the phone and they seemed to perk up when they heard me. I’m pretty excited. Home is the only place where I’m worth something and that every body, parents include, as well as the animals understand me. I’m no doctor dolittle(sp?) but I think the bond between animals and humans are pretty spectacular. anyways, one hand i’m happy, the other hand depressed. Sinking further and further down, and yet, the other half, rising for the momentous(sp?) journey home. I’m going to stop in clovis, hopefully say hi to ms zamie, hopefully school is not out, go to dairyqueen alone, eat some of my beloved ice cream, in which I told myself I wouldn’t eat any, but hell, the ocassion calls for it. Take me a walk around green acres park, maybe go fishing for a half hour or so and bring betsie around the town. Clovis… so boring, yet my home. Actually lubbock is… but anywho. Whatever works right? I can’t wait. I can’t wait I can’t wait. I know it’ll be done and over with before I know it, but if only tonight would go by faster, it’d make my day. Anyways, I’ll try to write more in clovis, and if I don’t, it means that betsie broke down, or betsie crashed, or that betsie failed me. But I wouldn’t worry about that, betsie has never failed me. She’s the only female other than my mother that I trust. See you on the other side.
The Mayor
:.life.sucks.buy a helmet:
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