Archives

March 2003

Puzzled

Well, I’m pretty puzzled. For being at the top of my life right now, I feel so low. I don’t know, I can’t really describe it.I don’t know, I hate complaining about how low I am, becuase I am feeling so great right now. It’s a great feeling. I’m currently preparing my resume and it’s coming along quite nicely. Click here to take a look. Anyways… tommorow I have alot to do, and it’s pretty late as it is.. so I need to get going, so to all of those people that still read this… take care. Know that I am alive, barley.
Peace
The Mayor

PS
This is what the alphabet would look like if they removed q and r :P

Still scared, even now….

Even after all that I’ve been through up until now in this so called life, I’m pretty scared. I’ve been in remission for about 5 years now, and it haunts me everyday. Rodney carrington said "I’m a hypocondriac(sp?) I stubb my toe, I got cancer!" Anyways, that’s life. day in and day out. It’s far worse, especially after today. This guy I work with about the same age as me, I just found out me and him both experienced cancer at a young age. He had his six month checkup and he thinks he may have it again. Again, boy, again is a great word. I’m in love again. I’m working again, I’m eating again, again… but I have cancer again? That bites. I think Im not mentally strong enough to go through another bout with cancer. I think I’d collapse at the thought of it. I don’t know, I have a weird way of surprising even myself, I just hope I’ll never have to find out. But anyways, another subject came up,that I don’t really want to talk about. It’ll just make me express self pity on myself and that’s not what I need right now. Doubt. Everybody doubts themselves at one time in life, some more than others. But if today’s lesson taught me anything, never doubt what you do and what you’ve done because when the same obstical(sp?) is brought forth to you, whether you made the right or wrong choice, there will always be a next time. And next time is when opportunity arises.
Until later citezens of OzweegoVille

Peace
~Mayor of OzweegoVille~

How will I survive?

Today was one of those flub days. What’s a flub day you ask? It’s your day off in which you were suppose to do a billion and one things, but decided to do absolutley nothing due to the fact that it’s so cold outside, and the cold makes it easy to sleep. So that’s exactly what I did. I slept. I took an exceptionally long nap, well.. in between the consious and unconscious world’s, I had my music blaring, sleeping during the happy songs, and relating to the sad ones. It was good, just to sit down and reflect a little. It was nice, Just to reflect.I’d like to think I have life back on track, hehe… but I’d be way wrong.

Socially physically and emotionally, I’d have to say, yea, I’m in good spirits now and have life back on track, but right now, Ihave my priorities backwards. When I got paid I decided to pamper myself. I bought a nice shelf, and a wireless keyboard and mouse, and I’m borrowing my old monitor, hehe… go figure.. anyways, It’s great. I got a set of speakers from my roomies for the time being, maybe next payday i’ll get a real speaker system. Anyways, I left myself about 60 dollars to live off of for the next 2 weeks. Ok sure, I won’t be eating out, but oh well. I am pampered at home. I love my new setup. Anyways, How will I survive you ask? 60-20(gas) = 40, 40 – 20(dollars for food, and at sams club, that’s alot of food) = 20 for backup, whether it be for gas or for food :) so I’m set. I’m set… yes, yes I am, I AM SET!!!!!
Peace
~Mayor of OzweegoVille~

My betsie and our trip to heck

Well, what can I say. Time and time again betsie has saved me, both spiritually and mentally and physically. I drove like a bat out of hell all the way to raton, about 50 miles past we hit a blizzard. They even shut down the interstate going north for about an hour and a half. From pueblo to denver which is about a two hundred miles. Oh and don’t forget only going about 30 miles an hour. It felt like going a hundred miles an hour on a dirt road. It was hell. It didn’t even feel like it was letting up. Countless hours past and still no sign of home. It was horrible. I’m ok though, and so isn’t betsie. My car is a snow godess. Yesterday I spent all day shoveling her out, we had over 3 feet of snow. the whole stinking city was shutdown it felt like. Roads were shut down, it was a good day though. Very relaxing and I am now accustomed to my new time zone.

I never thought I’d say that, but I miss my parents, I miss my dogs and I miss my new home in texas. It was so nice and relaxing. there were a ton of jobs that were available. and on top of that, gas was cheap, the town isn’t that big compared to denver, but it’s pretty big, but small enough to be nice.

My first day home we just relaxed. My father had to go to work, and once he did, me and my mom ate dinner and watched a few movies together. One of which was called the ring. Havn’t seen it, you probably should, very very late at night. It was pretty scary :) I like scary movies sometimes.

The next day me and my mom went shopping, it was pretty nice as well. We went to sams and a couple other shops. Later that night we listened to rodney carrington’s new cd, which btw is halarious.

The next day my dad had off. We went to go see bringing down the house. That was halarious. We also went to go see old school.

Here latley I’ve been lively, but down in the dumps, Just with leaving my parents and dogs andmy new home. Also with all that has transpired with me. Somebody I thought I knew, well… I was dead wrong. I suppose that was my fault but nothing I can do now. I figure it’ll be best for me to play the quit game for now, probably the rest of my life. I could care less if I ever spoke to her again. But whatever.

It was good to know that I’m not the only one having the same problem. One of my friends is having the same problem. For the past few years he was in a happy situation, as soon as he moved, he got the same results as I. The only diffrence is he doesn’t show it. I don’t even think he cares. He laughs about it. I suppose I dont’ care either, but then I suppose I’d be lieing as well. I dont know what to think. I dont even want to think about it, I guess that is why I have a journal, so I can vent to whomever reads this.

Well.. I need to get ready for work. I just wish that this would all pass, very quickly. I also hope that everybody has somebody as reliable as betsie. Someone or something to keep your brain ticking. But I need to go…
Peace
The Mayor

Don’t worry, be happy now…. -sings-

It’s incredible how one day, things can be so frustrating and depressing, and yet, the sight of your parents and pups make everything ok. It was so worth the ten hour trip down here, and also the 85 dollar speeding ticket… but oh well. Life is a highway baby!

Today we went to a hockey game. That was a ton of fun! I havn’t been to a hockey game since I was in new york. makes me want to see a prof game in denver. It was so cool. Definetly a great place for a first date. Speaking of which, this couple below us were on their first date, trust me, you could tell… anyways, poor couple, they had during the intermission a "kiss cam". If the camera pointed at you and you were on the big screen, you had to kiss, and sure enough they were singled out. It was so great, they really did look happy.

I suppose looks are decieving. Eminem sang a song "superman" which i’ve listened to alot latley. I like it. I used to respect women, and the angelic creatures they stood for. But now i’m like, eh, whatever. Good song though. Alot of hootie, definetly alot of hootie. These last few days for me have been rough. But i’m surprised how well I am coping. I’m depressed, not as nearly as much as I thought I’d be. But I will survive! Ha, I’m just really thankful that I have alot going for me. One day, it’ll happen.

anyways, my dogs. What can I say about my dogs? Maximus desmus meridious, aka max, my german shepard, is the coolest thing since sliced bread. He is a dog in which demands respect, and a good time. Can’t give BOTH to him, he doesn’t pay attention to you, if you do give him both, he’s a good pal to have around. Reminds me of well… me sometimes. Anyways, the first time I saw him, he heard me calling his name and he ran inside, not with a twig or a stick or a branch, but a piece of firewood in his mouth, a huge log! Silly dog… anyways, lexi, my shitzu came running inside and jumped into my arms and gave me tons of licks! Ewww gross! But I missed that… I really did.

Anyways, I apologize for not writing earlier, I said I would, unless betsie failed me. She didn’t.. no way did she. I thought that god would have severly punished me by taking away some people in my life, but if ever betsie… geesh, I don’t know what I’d do. But she’s good, I must not dwell on the negative aspects of life, nor the craptacular things that have happened to me. I life for me and my family now… ONLY. I won’t ever get hurt if I stick to my wits, and my own buisness, let alone with somebody elses.

On to bigger and better things!

Peace
the mayor

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