Well, I’m pretty puzzled. For being at the top of my life right now, I feel so low. I don’t know, I can’t really describe it.I don’t know, I hate complaining about how low I am, becuase I am feeling so great right now. It’s a great feeling. I’m currently preparing my resume and it’s coming along quite nicely. Click here to take a look. Anyways… tommorow I have alot to do, and it’s pretty late as it is.. so I need to get going, so to all of those people that still read this… take care. Know that I am alive, barley.PeaceThe MayorPSThis is what the alphabet would look like if they removed q and r

Even after all that I’ve been through up until now in this so called life, I’m pretty scared. I’ve been in remission for about 5 years now, and it haunts me everyday. Rodney carrington said "I’m a hypocondriac(sp?) I stubb my toe, I got cancer!" Anyways, that’s life. day in and day out. It’s far worse, especially after today. This guy I work with about the same age as me, I just found out me and him both experienced cancer at a young age. He had his six month checkup and he thinks he may have it again. Again, boy, again is a great word. I’m in love again. I’m working again, I’m eating again, again… but I have cancer again? That bites. I think Im not mentally strong enough to go through another bout with cancer. I think I’d collapse at the thought of it. I don’t know, I have a weird way of surprising even myself, I just …

Today was one of those flub days. What’s a flub day you ask? It’s your day off in which you were suppose to do a billion and one things, but decided to do absolutley nothing due to the fact that it’s so cold outside, and the cold makes it easy to sleep. So that’s exactly what I did. I slept. I took an exceptionally long nap, well.. in between the consious and unconscious world’s, I had my music blaring, sleeping during the happy songs, and relating to the sad ones. It was good, just to sit down and reflect a little. It was nice, Just to reflect.I’d like to think I have life back on track, hehe… but I’d be way wrong.Socially physically and emotionally, I’d have to say, yea, I’m in good spirits now and have life back on track, but right now, Ihave my priorities backwards. When I got paid I decided to pamper myself. I bought a …

Well, what can I say. Time and time again betsie has saved me, both spiritually and mentally and physically. I drove like a bat out of hell all the way to raton, about 50 miles past we hit a blizzard. They even shut down the interstate going north for about an hour and a half. From pueblo to denver which is about a two hundred miles. Oh and don’t forget only going about 30 miles an hour. It felt like going a hundred miles an hour on a dirt road. It was hell. It didn’t even feel like it was letting up. Countless hours past and still no sign of home. It was horrible. I’m ok though, and so isn’t betsie. My car is a snow godess. Yesterday I spent all day shoveling her out, we had over 3 feet of snow. the whole stinking city was shutdown it felt like. Roads were shut down, it was a good day …

It’s incredible how one day, things can be so frustrating and depressing, and yet, the sight of your parents and pups make everything ok. It was so worth the ten hour trip down here, and also the 85 dollar speeding ticket… but oh well. Life is a highway baby!Today we went to a hockey game. That was a ton of fun! I havn’t been to a hockey game since I was in new york. makes me want to see a prof game in denver. It was so cool. Definetly a great place for a first date. Speaking of which, this couple below us were on their first date, trust me, you could tell… anyways, poor couple, they had during the intermission a "kiss cam". If the camera pointed at you and you were on the big screen, you had to kiss, and sure enough they were singled out. It was so great, they really did look happy.I suppose looks are …

Well, with all that has transpired over the last few days, overall I’m fairly happy. I suppose with my last journal entry I didn’t think at all.. I apologize. Anyways, no matter(beileve me, it’s eating me alive) but I’ve realised the truth and was is to be. I’ve been doing everything to keep my mind busy, making the time go by as fast as possible, trying to limit my thinking patterns. Mainly watching movies, working, reading and listening to music. I thank my hated god for music. Only thing that keeps my brain ticking, and my heart beating.I also realise there is a god. Just not one in I want to cheer or applaud. Right now he sits, and mocks me. Everybody told me that my life’s plan was to have cancer. That’s bogus. Among many other things. One thing is for sure though, I’m going home tommorow.It’s very much needed, I spoke with my dogs over the phone and …

Well, I found out some iffy news today. The lady I supposidly had feelings for, errr… doesn’t. I found out from a friend or two in clovis that she apparently has another intrest. I dont know what to think. On one hand, I’m royally pissed. I didn’t go out with somebody out else becuase of my feelings. On the other hand, in the words of austin powers "Wait a tick, that means I’m single! Yea baby!", hehe, even though I was never really dating her. She supposidly wanted to wait while she made use of her life, or become a doctor or something, not that I’m doubting her abilities, but it’s funny. I am making it now more then ever. I make about 25k a year, which for a college guy is alot! I am fully independant and on top of that, i’m hoping that i’ll find an internship somewhere in computer programming, making even more dough.It made me take …

Hey faithful fanclub!Guess what, I got my days off of work approved! So what does that mean, DUH! I’M GOING HOME!!!! Yipppieeeee!!!! Anyways, I keep invisioning myself driving home, the seven eight hour drive… just to get to clovis, and then home, my new home in lubbock. Where I can cuddle with my pups and visit with my folks, and also eat a good, HUMONGOUS, meal! oh man, I am so excited… if you can’t already tell…Anyways, it’s going to be weird going back to clovis, which isn’t my home… I will hopefully be leaving at approximatly six or seven in the morning, getting to clovis in less than eight hours? hopefully.. hehe… anyways, i’m stoked. the funny part is my parents don’t know yet… I havn’t been able to tell them!anyways, laterZthe mayor

That’s what I’ll keep telling myself. One more day. I’m so tired right now. It feels very weird. With school, and my last shift at work, everything is weird now. Like Friday, which was normally like my saturday, it’s only my wensday! I get monday’s and tuesdays off which is going to be great this week. Apparrently my roomate is going to be getting his car pretty soon. So hopefully he can drive himself to work and home, and also on my days off, I don’t have to spend an extra ten bucks on gas just brining him back and fourth. anyways… life is slow, but incredibly fast if that makes any sense. I’m going on my fourth term. Which is nice… almost done hehe.. yea right… I have probably 4 or 5 left, so yea, I’m getting there…. Well, i’m tired, and hopefully me and my roomates will play starcraft like we usually do on the weekends…laterZMayor …