Well, let me just describe my christmas… well… lets go back even farther. Thanksgiving day, alone, all alone. Meal = Cream cheese beagel. Now lets get into the present with christmas. All alone, no change there, except Meal = New england clam chowder AND I also had to work today. So yea, after just explained that, you must be thinking that my life sucks.. well.. on the contrary. I actually like my life so there anyways, it is really depressing knowing that I am by myself for christmas, but there is really nothing that I can do about it. My babe betsie was here for me as usual. What would I do without her? I don’t even want to imagine what I’d do if I lost her.. anyways.. today’s christmas and it sucked. Everybody is with their loved ones, eating a huge meal, opening up a ton of gifts, and being with their loved ones. Did I mention being with their loved ones? I was debating wether or not I would write about how for one day the world just freezes, two months prior to this day the world is in total chaos, and the day after, the world is completly normal as if nothing ever happened. Or I was debating wether or not to write about how crappy my life was for this particular day and how great it was for any non-holiday, so it’s obvious that you can see where this is going…

::Status check::

I think for the most part things are going exceptionally well. I mean, I love my job, for the most part, I get paid great, I have the greatest car in the world, my handy dandy laptop, a college education, food on my plate, I think I look alot better than I did six months ago, people finally appreciate me, I am respected I am living out on my own, I have a great handle on life although it may not seem like it, I have this awesome chair that I am relaxing in right now, I knowhwere i’ve been in life, i know where i’m going to be in life, oh yea…. I just barley turned 18. I think even my parents are a little more impressed then they thought they’d be. Every day I wake up I say to myself "I’m making it!!" I don’t think me, or anybody around me thought I would make it, let alone this far. So it’s a warm fuzzy feeling inside. your probably asking why I brought this up. Well, I brought this up becuase I recieved a few awesome christmas gifts, but I havn’t recieved two yet. One of which is I hope this feeling, this attitude that I can make it lasts for ever, and the second one is that I wish that special somebody would come along. So santa, rudolph or who ever makes christmas wishes come true, please, purty please make mine come true. well, everybody, I suppose I am going to curl up in a ball, and watch a humerous movie or cry myself to sleep.

Merry Christmas

~Casey Merrill~

Faithful fanclub followers, I do apologize for my lack of updates. As you can see I’ve yet again changed my layout of my site. I get bored very easily, although I do realise I probably should be updating my journal more often then my layouts, but hey, at least you know I’m still here.

Things are still going great with both my social/personal/work/school life. I think I have straight a’s again, all except for my english grade. I have a B in it I think. My descriptive essay he was astonished that I wrote it, He to this day thinks I didn’t write it. It’s obvious I did, and he knows that. So hopefully he will reconsider two lousy points, oh well… deans list again for me.. I hope

Work, work is awesome! It keeps me so busy. Time is flying by so fast. The paychecks arn’t half bad. This time, just from one job I pulled in $700, that’s every two weeks, plus an additional $50 to $100 dollars working at prints plus. I do enjoy working, except for talking to the stupid people. My days go by super fast, so I suppose it all evens out. If I work there for at least six months I can move to a position where I would never have to talk on the phone ever again. But hey, even if that’s the case.. it won’t be for too long (more on that later)

Betsie is still excellent! I just got her tires changed not even a week or two ago, On top of that this weekend or next, I am getting her oil changed. Sometime, hopefully tommorow I am going to autozone, I need to get a cigerette lighter, no I don’t smoke, I just want to fill that hole, it looks pretty tacky, and also I need to find an indepth book as to how to take apart my car piece by piece. Hehe, no, I’m not even daring to take apart my beloved, I want to change out her cd player. She is acting picky as to which cd’s play and which ones do not. So I think it’s time for a new one! It is still great, every day with her is awesome and I can continue many great years with her.

As to my personal life i’m rather confused. Sure I have intrests, but my main attraction is far away. I’ve been out with quite a few ladies since I’ve been up here. When I mean, out, I mean dinner and the movies, or somewhat of a social gathering. I think they find intellect attractive, and moreso the gentleman approach I like to take. I’m not like other guys, and I think now more than every the opposite sex appreciates that. Which is a good feeling. I too have lost a lot of weight. I weight 120 now, not that it’s a big deal, but for the way I feel about myself, I feel much more confident about myself. I also feel that the opposite sex takes notice into that more than us men realise. Like I was saying earlier, my main intrests lies so far away. It seems that every day goes by we lose touch. Which I can understand, she lives her life, I live mine. What is a boy to do? I’m definetly crazy about her, but so far away there is nothing I can do but only hope that one day, hopefully quickly, all things will be resolved. Who knows.. I suppose only father time knows now. And that I’ll be more than happy to leave in his hands. It would be so great if things were to work out. You have no idea. On the same token, I would understand if they don’t, and I don’t think it would be so hard as opposed to previous relationships, I would actually understand why it were to end, and not be left in the dark. I think understanding would be a huge diffrence….

As for everything else in my life, I couldn’t ask for anything better. It’s odd, redoing this site I had to go through all of my previous journal entries. And to this day, no matter how old I get, I am glad that I have kept it. It makes me smile to see how much I’ve grown, how many times I’ve felt like a new beginning, and how I have actual proof of being depressed. Now, having everything going exceptionally well, it’s an excellent feeling to know that I’ve made it this far!

Well, this has been a rather lengthy journal entry. And I hope this will partly make up for the fact that I havn’t written in such a long time. Just know that I do THINK about writing in it, I just never get around to it.

Until tommorow Journal!

Take Care,
Casey