Well, tonight’s journal entry is going to be rather lenghty, why you ask? Well, it’s eleven oclock, august 1. I leave tommorow for denver. I honestly don’t know what to think. Something weird that I have found happening, is last year, me and coy had a discussion, I was so excited for him, wow, out on his own, and he didn’t even awknowledge the fact! He did, and he knew what was coming, just wasn’t all jumpidy at the time like I was. Well, now it is my turn and a friend jumanji. I feel as if the same situation is happening. It’s a reality check for him, but not quite yet for me. It’s really strange how things work themselves out how they do. I’m for the most part excited. Kind of nervous. I don’t really know what to expect. Roomates, food, financially, socially, or entertaining wise (IE, concerts and such)

I have so many mixed emotions that it’s unbeilevable and incredible hard to even start. For one I’m happy. I get to leave clovis, meet new people, experience new things and a diffrent lifestyle. Won’t have to worry about cleaning my room, or doing dishes or mandatory things required of me now. On the other hand, I have to find a job, work and make a living some how some way. In that way I’m kind of sad. When I move and leave clovis, I also leave my security. Of food, shelter, parents and my normal lifestyle. Every pro that I can think of has it’s cons. Like leaving people. People who say we will think and feel the same way down the line. I would give anything for things to stay how they are now between me and others. No matter how much they say it’ll be the same, and no matter how much I hope they will remain the same, I really honestly hope they do, I really do, I can’t emphisise(sp?) that enough I don’t think I could handle it if it were otherwise. It’s ok If i’m not making any sense. This is for me right? and this all makes 1100% sense to me. SO :p hehe…

I don’t know.. I really don’t know much of anything any more. I’m very happy, and very sad.. i’m very excited yet very nervous. I don’t know… I do know one thing, the next journal entry I write will be in denver.

I’m going to say this now, for whoever reads this I’m not exactly sure what is going to happen, how much internet access I will have, I will definetly email everybody, but wether or not I can use an instant messenger client like msn or aol or icq is unforseen. I really don’t know. But email me

kcmerrill@hotmail.com

That is the greatest thing that you could do for me I’m sure i’ll be feeling homesick. AND even if I can’t respond right away, keep sending them the more the better, the more you send, the fuzzier the feeling I will have anyways.. that’s all for now, wish me luck. I’m sure things will be just fine, for some reason no matter how crappy my luck, things are always just fine, or they work themselves out. Whatever the case may be, i’m off to denver!

Take Care and email me!

kc