Man, this really does suck. I think I have my mind made up on something, and come to find out… It is just barley beggining. For instance. My corvette. Today, while out at dinner, me and some friends go to discussing it. They told me that only old guys get get corvettes. Why? Midlife crisis. They want to make themselves look younger and more attractive for the opposite sex. They begin to tend to think that loosing their hair makes them appear older, less attractive and tend to have alot more problems with themselves and what they beileve to be there physical and emotional flaws. So that begs the question, do I, kc have a problem with myself? I mean, Im only 17 and yet I want a corvette. Do I have a problem with myself, or do I just have good taste in things? Well, I got to thinking and Id have to say both of these are correct. I think that I do have a problem with myself, way to many insecurities. More than half have been brought on by my own imagination. No one can convience me otherwise. but how can they? I mean, I keep them all locked up inside. Buried forever. But thats ok I suppose. And do I have good taste? Yes, unfortunatly I think I have good taste, way too good of taste. 9 times out of 10 It’s so good I cant have it. This is true in lots of cases… people and my corvette. Will I get it? More than likley not. Will I get the damsel in distress and save the world? hehe.. more than likley not. So, in conclusion, Id safe to say that I am going through my midlife crisis at the age of 17. Pretty sad but true. So what happens when I am an old man? Going bald and/or gray? Loosing my dignity when I get older? Lots of questions… probabley I nor anybody can answer. But it’s ok. As crappy as it may be, its life. I will get over it. As will every challenge that is brought forth to me. No matter how hard it is.. I will survive -starts to sing- I will survive! as long as I know how to love I know Ill be alright-stops singing- Oh great…. that’s not good….. hehe.. for obvious reasons I wont mention. Anyways… thank you for reading, my fanclub I appreciate it more than you know And hopefully this hasnt been a waste of your time. I enjoy posting in my journal. I have felt like I have done abillion, and not once has it gotten old or tiring. In fact, it helps alot of answering my own questions, besides that, I like to see what the loser I have evolved into. Since my first journal entry as a sophmore to now. Quite a change.. quite a change… hopefully a good one… but a change none the less… ok ok.. I am leaving now…
Take care and until tommorow!!
~kc

Well, Id just like to start of saying that I am as tired as a rat in a maze… I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night. I went to bed at like 3:30… But I dont recall actually falling asleep until 4 in the morning.. anyways.. becuase my mind was racing with ideas, false hopes, or just crazy thoughts… hehe.. I havent the faintest idea. Anyways.. I did have a good time, met some new people which is always a plus, went out to eat, taco villa, always a plus, it wasnt bad… hehe.. except for my tiredness. It is approximatly noon, I have to be to work from 4-9 tonight.. AND then tommorow I have to go to a soccer tournement. Geez… hehe.. Ill live, what doesnt kill me will only make me stronger right? Well anyways… I hope you have enjoyed your weekend thus far
Take Care,
~kc~

Man, I tell you, this last year has been pure hell. Even last week was hell. Somethings in life are so ironic. People you wish you would have met a billion years ago… others you wish you had met, well, never! Anyways… I do think I am ok now. I finally have a good outlook on things now. Im glad I didnt go to prom. Probably becuase I am still alive, and if I did go..Id commit suicide (j/k) I woudlnt have done that, although I would have been so deep that nothing could revive me. But seriously, the guys wasted anywhere from 2-3 hundred bucks on one night. In which, 3 days later, nobody has even mentioned it! It has been a good past couple of days.. I tell you. I felt like a monk going to those shrine thingies. Ok, so I am just rambling, but point being. I do feel better. Whenever I do feel blue, I just think of my millenium yellow corvette. Geez it feels so far away, but in all actuality it is so very near… I cannot wait, I am soo looking forward to the new challenges that life has to offer. Ive made it past prom, lonliness, depression and now here shortly high school. It probabley sounds like all of my enteries are the same, probabley becuase they are, these topics are usually what runs through my head 90% of the time… well.. I had better get some rest, I have happy thoughts to think anyways.. take care and have a great day!
Take Care,
~kc~

ps.. Somedays I think that nobody reads these entries.. then other days I remember that those who do read it, do not obtain my journal entries in a conventional matter just food for thought…. hehe…