Well, I dont know what got into me. I have checked all the local buisnesses and still with no luck. But today, I thought, why not go once more? I did.. and -POOF- all of a sudden, I got two applications (one at ben franklins and the other at the chevy place down on mabiry drive) and, ontop of all of that, my neighbor said she is going to talk with her boss to let me do some data entry which would give me 19 hours a week. She said shed try her hardest, and she never lets me down. So maybe, just maybe I wont be a loser after all! Ok.. I will still be a loser, except a loser with a job 
Hopefully…….
Well, today has definetly been better than yesterday. I swear, one more argument and me and betsie were going to take a drive over the cliff. Only about twice in my entire life have I felt so low, and so bad about myself. Yesterday I hated everything about me, from my attitude to my hair. I was sick to death of myself. It was horrible. But with some companey and a talk with my parents things are better now. I suppose.. As of the next payment they will be taking over. Which is good.. becuase when I pick up my school paycheck I shall have only 700 dollars. Not nearly enough. So I suppose things are looking up. Things would be much better if I could get a decent job. 20 hours a week would be perfect. Hell, 15 hours a week would be perfect. Combined with my farmers electric job that would be 20 hours. And I know life cannot be planned, nor even predicted, but at least, for once, please let things go my way. I have worked so hard. Id hate for it to be all wasted. I know, I have to think optomistic, but if things fell short for me… man, who knows what Id do. But I cant think like that All my life I have been pesimistic, maybe its time for a change. Maybe I shall change my views, maybe turn optomistic? Who knows… but hopefully things will look better. But I must admit, today Id say was a fairly sucessful day. I kept myself busy, went around town again, went and put in my 2 hours of work and then came home.. to work on my website. Thank goodness for hootie and the blowfish. That cd is the only thing I have to help keep my sanity. I am going nuts.. wasting away here.. I cant wait to move. I really cant. I will be leaving people behind, but Im sure they dont feel the same way as I do them, so it wont be so hard saying goodbye. But I shall make it my personal goal to see each and every one of them out. Wether it be in my pinto or my corvette. I will 
One day… which day will that be? Who knows… I dont know much of anything anymore. I only know things cant get anyworse and things have to get better. But only time will tell, damn time…. My greatest friend, and yet my worst enemy….
Take Care,
~kc~
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